KidzTalk

|The events of today| |chapter one|

+6 votes
80 views
asked Aug 6, 2016 in Fiction by FrizzyFriday

                                                                                |chapter one|

 

 

Dear diary

This morning I shivered as I remembered that the test was today and I hadn't studied! 'Oh why didn't mum confiscate my phone!' I thought.Charlie was already eating breakfast when I came down 'hello, Miss.OhWhyDidntMumConfiscateMyPhone!'He said then mimicked my voice 'oh please mum don't confiscate it please I swear I will do my homework first!' I was to busy to retaliate  because I was thinking of an excuse for my parents when they asked why I didn't get good grades 'hmm maybe, I was so worried that I forgot to lock the door of my brain's room and he went out?'I wondered.Suddenly there was a load bang! I was so surprised that I screamed then mum called down 'Sasha don't scream, I now look at what you've done Molly has just started crying!' 'Oops, sorry mum!'



3 Answers

0 votes
answered Jan 17 by kitten (639,580 points)
Other people thought this was bad, but I liked it. Don't listen to the haters because your chapter was very interesting and descriptive.
+2 votes
answered Aug 13, 2016 by ❤☮LouTheLuver☮❤ (160,530 points)
It's good but you could improve on puctutation and quostations. I can't really understand what character is saying what. But it's really good.
commented Aug 14, 2016 by rae (87,410 points)
yea! and remember to space words apart
commented Jan 17 by kitten (639,580 points)
that is rude
+1 vote
answered Aug 13, 2016 by rae (87,410 points)
i can barely understand this
commented Jan 17 by kitten (639,580 points)
that is really rude

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