HarryPotter™ Jokes (Only HP Fans Will Get These Jokes!)

Question

 

(1 & 2 were offending people; my bros wanted me to add it; sorry)

3. Gyfindor: Do what's right. Ravenclaw: Do what's wise. Hufflepuff: Do what's kind. Slytherin: Put a basilisk in the castle.

4. Knock knock.

Whose there?

You know.

You know who?

He's dead, you can say his name now.

5. Why did Potter cross the road? No reason, but someone will write a book about it. Why did Malfoy cross the road? To swing his hips at Potter. Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road? Malfoy did. Why did the Dark Lord cross the road? Potter couldn't stop him. Why did the Death Eaters cross the road? The Dark Lord ordered it.

6. We've all got thing Voldemort doesn't have-- noses.

7. Snape: *finds RavenClaw outta bed; takes 10 points from Gyfindor* Dumbledore: Wait, Slytherin won the House Cup? Let's give 500 points to HP for breathing.

8. Ron: I dunno if I'm more scared of Snape-- or my own mother.

9. Teenager: I'm a wizard! Someone else: Prove it. Teen: Sorry, no magic outside Hogwarts.

10. Dumbledore: And the next champion is.... YOUR MOM. OK WHO WROTE THIS?

11. (This is my own joke; don't let it offend you) *sees H. Clinton on TV; thinks about her blowing up the world; chuckles to myself* At least she's not as bad as Umbrdge.

 

Comments

I don't get 10.

Answer 1

#9 lol me everyday

Comments

Same Rae. I need to use it more often XD.

Answer 2

#10 not the your mom joke LOL 

Answer 3

I don't get 11. I mean, who's Umbridge?

Comments

Have u even read HP?

Answer 4

Also, couldn't Harry have used Hermione's hourglass that can reverse time, and go back and save his parents? He also could have used it to go back and weaken Voldemort.

Comments

I know! But "Awful things happen to wizards who meedle with time, Harry."

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It's a plot hole no one cared to really fix, it just helps out a smaller part of the story, plus if he could just go back in time and do that what point would there be in watching/reading harry potter?

Answer 5

Number one is because he used it up when he persuaded Slughorn to give him the memory and too protect Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. Why? Because he did what any decent person would do.

Answer 6

Two was because Harry and Ron were lousy students and relied on Hermione for everything since they didn't pay attention in class- also did you get these off the Internet because I'vE seen them all before and one very similar to the one you made up

Comments

I found these in the Internet. Don't judge me: my bros wanted me to post 1 & 2, so I did.

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No judging, just making some points