KidzTalk

The White Outs chapter 1

+7 votes
87 views
asked Dec 4, 2016 in Writing Contests by (Taurus) SweetieGem (22,190 points)
​I was just at home getting ready for bed then I heard a gunshot downstairs.

I rushed downstairs to see what was that then I said, " What happened, and why is mom sobbing." When mom pointed at my sister laying on the ground dead I was stunned. I went upstairs and started crying. The next day I went to school and said to my friends "My sister got shot and killed." My friends comforted my and Violet said," Its fine calm down Maysie, and don't cry or the headmistress will take you to her office." I didn't but I was still crying inside. All day during school I was just thinking saying," Should I look in my moms shelves in her room?" " Yes I should." At home I found her friends newspaper saying                                   

                                          Millards news

On December 13, Sally Jewel Clay is 4 years old and got killed. "Oh, my sisters on here, wait I see a name of a person who has been kidnapped whats her name."

                                              Millards News

On December 14 Cassie Rose Smith who is 5 years old got kidnapped . Her brother Zeke (17) her sister Mary (13) her brother Cory (10) her sister

Emma (10) and her parents Gary (47) and Rosalina (42) they are worried about there sweet daughter. "Ok lets see if", *has a white out* sees my sister playing "Who is that?" "Wait, that's my sister and the other kids who died." *Wakes up*, "That was weird, ok lets see if Marys in my school." *looks* finds the address named Whiteridge 1019. Gets on my bike and rides to Whiteridge 1019. Sees house and parks bike next to door. Knocks on door, someone opens the door thinks "This must be Mary." "Hi, are you Mary?" *Dramatic pause* "Yes why?" Maysie tells her that her sister got killed and she wants to help her find her sister Callie. Mary said after I told her, "Thank you  Maysie." I said to her that we can help each other out and her brother has a car so he can drive us. Then the door opened and Mary's brother Zeke came in, then I heard footsteps upstairs, then I saw her little brother and sister Cory and Emma. They both agreed to help then I said, "Lets get my friends.

                                             To be continued

hope you like it if you want more comment or like. If you want to correct me go ahead I will change the parts that you want.


2 Answers

0 votes
answered Dec 5, 2016 by ❤️GryffindorGal❤️ (116,800 points)
selected Dec 6, 2016 by (Taurus) SweetieGem
 
Best answer
You.... Completely copied my "When I Need You Most" story on here.... So that's something.
commented Dec 5, 2016 by rae (87,230 points)
that's exactly what i was thinking! it sounded a bit familiar with the small children going missing and dying and stuff.
commented Dec 6, 2016 by jazzlinny (38,000 points)
I was thinking that too!
0 votes
answered Dec 5, 2016 by jazzlinny (38,000 points)
This was confusing.
commented Dec 5, 2016 by rae (87,230 points)
yeah! and please add punctuation and not just huge run on sentences.

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