+8 votes
284 views
in Fiction by (2.0k points)
Rose picks up her knife and throws it at the zombie.

Rose: You happy now that I have killed it,David.

David: Yes I am...

Rose: ok... Let's get outta here and find mom.

Mystery Voice: HELLO!!! I WILL HELP YOU FIND YOUR WAY HOME but you will be disappointed.

Rose: Ok...WERE ARE YOU THEN IF YOU GOING TO SHOW US THE WAY OUT.

Mystery Voice: (Comes out of the shadows) HELLO!!

David: You look kinda like josh.

Mystery Voice: Because I am Josh.

Rose: You can't be our brother.

Josh: I am you see,when you thought I died I slipped away quickly and Mom was rushing towards our house and instead she got killed. She was a trooper (Cries).

Rose: Really So the zombie was MOM!!!

Josh: Yes she was that's why your house was blown up.

David: NOOO MAX!!!

Josh: Don't worry he is fine Max is actually following me after I told him to stay.

Max: (Runs over to David) (Licks Davids Face) RUFF RUFF!!!

Author: Hey,Its me Cowboys_Fan225 and if you are wondering yes like in the title this is going in a apocalyptic stage of the story and yes it is going to be a lot of zombie killing so if you don't like zombie killing THEN DONT READ.

Josh: Come with me I will show you me camp.

 

Josh takes David and Rose to his camp.

Josh: ALRIGHT GUYS COME ON OUT WE HAVE VISITORS!!!

Sam: OK JOSH!!!

Rose: Um... is this a base if so COOL!!

Sam: Yes, Yes it is.

David: HEY AUTHOR CAN I BE IN MORE SENTENCES!!!

Author: Yes you can.

David: Ya

Sam: Let me show you around.

Rose:ok.

Josh: You will be staying here.

David: ok.

Rose: Can we stay here forever because our house is destroyed.

Josh: Yes you can,if you want.

David: Um... Is there any more zombies?

Josh: Yep.

David: Well thats shocking.

Sam: It really isn't.

Rose: REALLY!!

Josh: Nope.

Zombies: GRUNTS IN LOUD NOISES.

Josh: GET THE DEFENSIVES UP GO GO GO!!!

Sam: YES SIR!!

 

They get everything up and the zombies start coming.

Rose: (Picks up pistol) BANG BANG Are we going to live?

Josh: NOPE!

David: Yes we are I have confidence.

Sam: There you go confidence.

Josh: HELP I AM GETTING ABUSHED

Rose: I AM COMING.

David: I AM NOT LETTING YOU DIE!!

Josh: HELP!!

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

 

Plz like and I will be changing the title to THE APOCALYPSE so if you still want it named The Coma then tell me in the Comments!!



4 Answers

+1 vote
by (45.3k points)

I think when you wrote: 

David: HEY AUTHOR CAN I BE IN MORE SENTENCES!!!

Author: Yes you can.

I think you should take that out. 

 

No offence! Just my critic.

+1 vote
by
I really like it but what about the the apotolipic like the world is filled with zombies ya know other wise keep on going like coma 6 amd ect
+1 vote
by (90.2k points)
I would like the name to be THE APOCALYPSE because knowone is going to have a coma anymore.....right?
by (2.0k points)
Right.
+1 vote
by (25.9k points)
Um more emtoin from the charecters and less death but otherwise it is cool
by (2.0k points)
You really don't have to be that critical. :)



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