Original Harry Potter Jokes (No, seriously, I made them up!)

+8 votes
asked Mar 10, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by L (75,760 points)

Joke #1:

(Harry Potter is sleeping in bed when a dementor comes through the window)

Dementor: (tickles Harry)

Harry Potter: (wakes up and puts glasses on) Expecto Patronum!

Dementor: (dodges patronus)

Harry Potter: Can't a man sleep in peace?

Joke #2

(Crookshanks is sleeping on a bench when there is loud barking)

Crookshanks: Reeeow! (Runs away)

Hermione: (to dog) Heel! 

Dog: (heels)

Hermione: (checks for dog tags) Well, I guess I'll feed you. Stay! 

(Hermione exits and returns five minutes later with fresh ham to find Sirius in place of the dog!)

Hermione: Sirius! 

Sirius Black: Hey, a man's got to have a little fun! 

Joke #3

Ron: (hands Fred a present) Here, Fred. 

Fred: (opens present) Hey, this baseball cap says George! 

Ron: (guilty) Oops, wrong present. 



1 Answer

0 votes
answered Jun 7, 2017 by Lollypopqueen (34,930 points)
lol these are good

Related questions

+7 votes
1 answer 44 views

From 6miutes and 13 seconds to 8 minutes and 48 seconds

asked Aug 3, 2019 in Harry Potter Club by C.Clay
+9 votes
7 answers 94 views

Hello! Whos your favorite Harry Potter character? Mine is Draco. Im a Slytherin!

asked Sep 20, 2018 in Harry Potter Club by knight
+9 votes
1 answer 279 views

You know what Pygmy Puffs are and are constantly explaining to people what they are. You have memorized Harry Potter's prophecy. You knew Cedric would die. You know what a ... the snake in the zoo. You know Hagrid got Fluffy from a "Greek chappie."

asked Jul 12, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by L (75,760 points)
+11 votes
1 answer 118 views

This is Lollypopqueen's CEO Type Assistant typing: Today we will talk about a popular franchise called Harry Potter . Introduction What is Harry Potter? It is a book ... : a wizard who cannot do magic Muggle born: a wizard who had muggle parents

asked Jun 28, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by L (75,760 points)
+11 votes
1 answer 240 views

Neon Green= Ingredients in Polyjuice Potion Gold= Ingredients in Felix Felicis (AKA "Liquid Luck") Lilac= Ingredients in the Draught of Living Death Red= Ingredients in Love Potion Pale Blue= ... TT OE PR H20 RA IW VR SB SL RT PE PM PD WB CC PU SA

asked Jun 15, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by L (75,760 points)
+15 votes
5 answers 168 views

As you may or may not know, Kidzsearch has released a new feature of clubs. I think it would be better if the Harry Potter club didn't have a leader, so I think we ... for all things Harry Potter related! I know I'm in, and I hope you join too!

asked Apr 15, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by ❤️GryffindorGal❤️ (116,620 points)
+10 votes
0 answers 63 views

asked Apr 7, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by L (75,760 points)
+7 votes
2 answers 268 views

asked Apr 7, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by L (75,760 points)
+8 votes
3 answers 152 views

Ever wonder why a wizard is a wizard and a muggle is a muggle? You've come to the right place. But before we get deep into the genetics of Harry Potter, ... ? Click this link.

asked Apr 2, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by L (75,760 points)
+6 votes
2 answers 30 views

Hey, everybody! For this blog post I wanted to tell you that I LOVE HARRY POTTER! The series is my fave. If you like Harry Potter and our reading this post please put ... is a survey. I need more answers to gather results. That's all for today! LLM

asked Aug 21, 2019 in LLM's Place by lunalovegoodmolly (249,090 points)
+6 votes
3 answers 90 views

Starting tomorrow, KnightStar and I will be jointly authoring our collab story, a Harry Potter fanfiction set after Harry, Silens I (“The Silent Trio” in Latin) ... will be written every Friday (or Thursday if I can’t do Friday).

asked Oct 21, 2018 in Fanfiction by -GEMHeart- (279,340 points)
+7 votes
1 answer 186 views In the above link, Ilana Gelfand, a Disney Style contributor, created ... up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends."

asked Mar 25, 2017 in Fashion/Style by L (75,760 points)
+3 votes
0 answers 6 views

Who loves HP? (answer: everyone!) Who loves HP memes? (answer: also everyone!)

asked 3 days ago in AG's Zone by little potterhead (29,090 points)
+8 votes
2 answers 89 views

Tell me!

asked Feb 25, 2018 in Other by K
+10 votes
0 answers 61 views

asked Jun 26, 2017 in Holidays and Events by ❤☮LouTheLuver☮❤ (160,150 points)
+8 votes
2 answers 208 views

7. Nymphadora Tonks Okay, so, the purple hair she had as a teenager was not the best fashion choice, but, the necklace in her Deathly Hallows Promotional Photo is ... pink and formal. Her office is the same. Those kitten plates of hers are cute.

asked Mar 24, 2017 in Fashion/Style by L (75,760 points)
+6 votes
2 answers 226 views

Happy__Harry 33 posts 60k followers 40k followings 500k likes Joined Dec 1st, 2011 10k people like this post I had quidditch practice today! I hope ... you defeat the Dark Lord? #prophecy #tom___riddle Hermione___Granger says: Fascinating. #prophecy

asked Mar 4, 2017 in Invention Contests by L (75,760 points)
+8 votes
1 answer 113 views

(Note: Got idea from L's contest! Thank you L, and a lot of credit goes to her/him (sorry forgot!). Again, Thanks!) Decree Number 1: No owning of any ... . Decree Number 10: No making muggle movies of any kind about wizards. Thanks for reading this!

asked Jan 22, 2017 in Fiction by jazzlinny (38,000 points)
+8 votes
2 answers 130 views

"Always," Severus Snape "Nearly always right," Remus Lupin "I'm going to bed, before you get another clever idea to get us killed, or worse, expelled," Hermione Granger " ... it's like," Harry Potter Tell me what you think, and add some of your own!

asked Nov 27, 2016 in Other by BrainNerd
+12 votes
5 answers 107 views

1. "Don't pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living. And most of all, those who live without love." - Albus Dumbledore 2. " Honestly,don't you two read?" -Hermione ... " -Albus Dumbledore 4. " Always." - Severus Snape (Post your favorite HP quote below!)

asked Aug 15, 2016 in Other by GemHeart
+6 votes
1 answer 46 views

In celebration for reaching the halfway point in book 1 (we are almost at chapter 18 and we are planning 26 chapters), here is a Q&A corner. You can ask ... ) Art extras (posted once every book) ETC Please ask your questions and suggest below!

asked Nov 8, 2018 in Fanfiction by -GEMHeart- (279,340 points)
+7 votes
1 answer 41 views

asked Aug 16, 2019 in Harry Potter Club by anonymous
+8 votes
3 answers 486 views

12. Ron Weasley Ron's dress robes are brown with a black tuxedo with lots and lots of lace! While looking at them in the mirror, he says he looks and smells ... dress. It is very feminine and is very formal. Looks like Hermione's #1 in everything!

asked Mar 25, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by L (75,760 points)
+12 votes
1 answer 143 views
+7 votes
3 answers 67 views

Silens I Oh it hurts, please enjoy this last chapter as to me it is sad ): I could feel my tense self-fall into a retreat, my expression plain as a liquid filled and ... !!! AHHHH!!! this grammar is bad but my computer is slow so sorry for that too!

asked Sep 22, 2019 in Fanfiction by toad aka star (346,600 points)

Recent Badges

Nice Comment
Comment received +2 upvote
- Billieeilishgal -
Notable Question
Asked question received 50 views
- Poppy -
Nice Question
Question received +2 upvote
- lunalovegoodmolly -
Good Question
Question received +3 upvote
- little potterhead -
Good Question
Question received +3 upvote
- lypi123 -