KidzTalk

To Christians Who Like a Good Laugh:

+7 votes
1,586 views
asked Mar 11, 2017 in Philosophy / Religion by -GEMHeart- (283,740 points)
edited Mar 11, 2017 by -GEMHeart-
  • Tomorrow's forecast: God reigns and the Son shines!
  • Why pay for GPS? Jesus gives directions for free.
  • Need a lifeguard? Ours walks on water!
  • What on earth are you doing for Heavens sake!
  • Honk if you love Jesus… Text while driving if you want to meet him.
  • God will accept broken hearts – but you must give Him all the pieces!
  • If the devil is knocking at your front door, let Jesus answer it!
  • T.G.I.F. - Thank God I'm Forgiven!
  • Is temptation knocking? Let Jesus get the door!
  • Faith is Not Blind, Faith is your sight Set On Jesus!
  • Feeling thankful and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
  • God expects spiritual fruit, not religious nuts!
  • God wants full custody not just a weekend visit!
  • If God Is Your Co-Pilot, you better switch seats!
  • It’s a TREAT, not a Trick.  God loves You!
  • 2 Great Truths: 1) There is a God… 2) You’re not Him!
  • When you throw mud at someone, you’re the one losing ground!
  • Autumn leaves.  Jesus doesn't.
  • Heavenly forecast:  God will reign forever!
  • May all your days have Son shine!
  • The 10 Commandments are not multiple choice!
  • The 10 Commandments are not 10 suggestions!
  • Jesus has a great “prophet-sharing” plan!
  • F.R.O.G. = Fully Rely On God!
  • Do you keep your Bible as close as your cell phone?
  • Church sign - ATM inside: Atonement, Truth, Mercy
  • Heaven’s riches are tax free!
  • “I’m also making a list and checking it twice” – God
  • God does not believe in atheists – therefore atheists do not exist.
  • Adam blamed Eve. Then Eve blamed the snake.  Then the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on.
  • Do not criticize your wife’s judgment.  See who she married.
  • Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity!
  • If evolution were true, Mother’s would have at least 3 arms.
  • Forbidden fruits create many jams.
  • For God so loved the world, that He didn't send a committee.
  • Don’t give up!  Moses was once a basket-case too!
  • There will be a separation of church and state – the rapture!
  • Noah should have swatted the 2 mosquitoes!
  • Church bulletin – the peacemaking meeting today has been cancelled, due to a conflict.
  • Church bulletin – the low self-esteem support group meets Thursday.  Please use the back door.
  • Church bulletin – Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm.  Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
  • The best vitamin for a Christian is B1

Church Signs and Sayings - Jesus, Salvation

  • Friends don’t let Friends die without Jesus.
  • True independence is dependence on Jesus.
  • Choose the “Bread of Life”, or you are toast.
  • Many who seek God in the eleventh hour die at 10:30!
  • If you don't like the way you were born try being born again!
  • ETERNITY: smoking, or non-smoking?
  • Need a new life? God accepts trade-ins!
  • Lost?  Try GPS – God’s Plan of Salvation!
  • Jesus is an investment that never loses!
  • Life without Jesus is like an unsharpened pencil.  It has no point.
  • Try Jesus!  If you don’t like Him, the devil will gladly take you back!
  • Faithbook: Jesus has sent you a friend request.
  • Jesus loves You… and He approves this message!

Church Signs & Sayings - Prayers

  • God’s answers are wiser than our prayers!
  • 7 days without Prayer makes one WEAK!
  • Church sign – Our Church is Prayer Conditioned!
  • A family alter can alter a family!
  • No problem is too great to place in God's hands.
  • P.U.S.H. = Pray Until Something Happens!
  • Prayer – the ultimate wireless connection!
  • Prayer – Free wireless connection to God with no roaming fees!
  • God answers all knee mail.
  • Can't sleep? Don't count sheep - talk to the shepherd!
  • Faith is the postage stamp on our prayers.

Church Signs and Sayings - Churches

  • Church is like fudge… sweet, with a few nuts!
  • For Home Improvement – Bring the Family to Church.
  • The church is a gift from God.  Some assembly required.
  • Shock your Mom… go to church today!
  • Church sign – we are not Dairy Queen… but, we have Great Sundays!

  • I was wondering why people seem to read the Bible more as they get older, then it dawned on me...they were getting ready for their final exam!

commented May 17, 2019 by Elijah
Hahaha! I am dying of laughter! This is funny funny !!!!!!


2 Answers

0 votes
answered Jun 16, 2017 by Ellie

Cool! (I'm a christian too!)

Some of my favorites are...

"God expects spiritual fruit, not religious nuts!

Honk if you love Jesus… Text while driving if you want to meet him.

Do you keep your Bible as close as your cell phone?

Church bulletin – Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm.  Please use the large double doors at the side entrance."

0 votes
answered Apr 3, 2017 by rae (87,410 points)

nice wink

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