Funny Harry Potter Play

+3 votes
46 views

Scene 1, Act 1

Godric's Hollow, Graveyard

A cauldron filled with green liquid bubbles.

A white hand comes out.

PETER PETTIGREW pulls the white hand out.

A white organism stands in the cauldron. It does not look human. 

LORD VOLDEMORT: (loudly) I am Lord Voldemort, see me kill The Boy Who Lived! 

PETER PETTIGREW: Time to get you out now. (Pulls LORD VOLDEMORT out of the cauldron.)

LORD VOLDEMORT: (demanding) Give me my wand and robes! 

PETER PETTIGREW gives LORD VOLDEMORT a wand and black robes.

LORD VOLDEMORT puts the robes on and snatches the wand from PETER PETTIGREW.

LORD VOLDEMORT: (loudly) I am powerful once again! Muahaha! On to defeat The Boy Who Lived! But first, to find my nose. 

PETER PETTIGREW: (nervously) But, my Lord, you must be kidding! 

LORD VOLDEMORT: (loudly and angrily) SILENCE! NEVER QUESTION MY CHOICES! But, I am NOT kidding! No, I NEED my nose in order to sniff out The Boy Who Lived! 

PETER PETTIGREW: (very nervously) But, you have no idea what the boy smells like! 

LORD VOLDEMORT: You can fetch me something that belongs to the boy. 

PETER PETTIGREW: All right. But, you do not know what your nose looks like or where it is! 

LORD VOLDEMORT: My nose must be white like the rest of my body! Also, I have some ideas about where my nose is. It might be in Lily and James Potter's old house. Or it might be sitting in the cauldron from which I was first born. 

PETER PETTIGREW: Or maybe Nagini bit it off before Neville Longbottom decapitated her! 

LORD VOLDEMORT: You are probably......probably.......probably (angrily) RIGHT, (normally) but, if you are right, then it would have dissolved in Nagini's stomach acid long ago. 

PETER PETTIGREW: Correct you are. 

LORD VOLDEMORT: But, we cannot be sure unless we dissect Nagini's corpse. 

PETER PETTIGREW and LORD VOLDEMORT turn into black clouds and fly away.

Scene 2, Act 1

Hogwarts

LORD VOLDEMORT: Now that we are finally here, we can search for Nagini's corpse. 

LORD VOLDEMORT and PETER PETTIGREW search for Nagini's corpse. 

Scene 2, Act 2

Hogwarts 

PETER PETTIGREW: (excited) I found her! (Points to dead snake on the ground.)

LORD VOLDEMORT walks over to Nagini's corpse. 

PETER PETTIGREW: (sadly) Now comes the dirty work. (Picks up the Sword of Gryffindor and chops Nagini's belly in half). 

LORD VOLDEMORT looks inside Nagini's belly. He does not see a nose. 

LORD VOLDEMORT and PETER PETTIGREW turn into black clouds and fly away. 

Scene 3, Act 1

Godric's Hollow, Lily and James Potter's House

PETER PETTIGREW: I've looked all over this house and I cannot find your nose. 

LORD VOLDEMORT and PETER PETTIGREW turn into black clouds and fly away. 

Scene 4, Act 1

Godric's Hollow, Graveyard

PETER PETTIGREW peeks into the cauldron with green liquid. 

LORD VOLDEMORT: We have to jump in there, you cretin! 

LORD VOLDEMORT and PETER PETTIGREW jump into the cauldron with green liquid

Scene 5, Act 1

Inside The Cauldron With Green Liquid

 LORD VOLDEMORT: (loudly) Do you see my nose? 

PETER PETTIGREW: No. Do you? 

LORD VOLDEMORT: (angrily) No! 

They dive deeper into the cauldron.

Scene 5, Act 2

Inside The Cauldron With Green Liquid

LORD VOLDEMORT: Do you see it now? I do not. 

PETER PETTIGREW: No. 

They dive to the bottom of the cauldron.

Scene 5, Act 3

Inside The Cauldron With Green Liquid

LORD VOLDEMORT and PETER PETTIGREW: Ouch! 

PETER PETTIGREW: Where are we? 

LORD VOLDEMORT: (angrily) We're at the bottom of the cauldron, you fool! 

PETER PETTIGREW: There is no sign of your nose here either. 

LORD VOLDEMORT and PETER PETTIGREW turn into black clouds and fly away. 

Scene 6, Act 1

Godric's Hollow, Graveyard

LORD VOLDEMORT: Everywhere we have looked, we did not find my nose. So I have come to the conclusion that I was born without a nose. Now let us kill The Boy Who Lived! 

LORD VOLDEMORT and PETER PETTIGREW turn into black clouds and fly away.

 

 

asked Jun 20, 2017 in Harry Potter Club by L (52,150 points)


1 Answer

0 votes
LOL...
answered Jun 20, 2017 by GemHeart (89,160 points)

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