Silens I Chapter 10
If you ever looked to find things, you'll look to find in peculiar places. Like a room filled with hope, or a house filled with only sorrow. Somethings we regret most in life might just leave us to constant pondering, and wishing there was always a way to get out-to get out. Regret came bring us many sorrows, telling us to stop it. Only to feel like someone is out there, but there truly not, or at least in a tiny bubble that you keep yourself in. You look in the mirror, you look like your hurting, with tears running down your face, and your eyes red, your heart beating faster by the moment. In real life, it's only a hidden dream. You wish they could see your hurting, but they can't. You hate them for it, but the only person you hate for it is you. You seem to tell yourself it's okay, but your different, too different. You can't see the people around you, your blinded by the fact you'll never be like the person you father loves most, a boy that's pure. Someone you'll never be. You lie to yourself, always trying to act tough on the outside, why you cry on the inside. You act like all your decisions are worth the cost, but your just pitiful. This is why they don't love you. They. All they see is a pureblood jerk, that pretends they aren't souls lying around in an empty room, with only people that stare into the walls. "It's been a long day," you say to yourself, continuing to torture that part of you that just wants to be loved. You look at yourself once more, looking at that paper you had to return, a note you were too afraid to give. A fight you were too afraid to fight. You sit down alone in an empty chair, as you trickle your thoughts down a well that is overflowing, but with no water pouring out on the outside. It seems impossible for that to happen. It seemed you were okay, at a decent amount of time. Not even your closest demons see this side of you, just that one side that taunts you. "But it's not over yet," you say again, getting up from the chair you were left on to cry alone. You look at your wand, taking it, pulling it closer to you, whispering dark magic that imitates happiness in so many ways. Something that makes you want more, but never have more. Magic that hurts not the monster, but you. You can't choose which side, you know you'll be happier on the side that tells you your going to be happy, but you have to choose the side that tells your fine, but it has no proof. Proof. The wall you've been looking at for days now keep you restless, just another class to attend. To fake. You can always choose, this is what it's always about. Choose your friends and die, choose happiness and live forever. The first one seems so painful, so heart breaking that you'll never be able to realize it. What? Nobody knows, not even I, not a girl that stands tall when she's the most weak, not the boy that wishes everyone to be happy just so he could be happy, not the boy that pretends to hate others that he cares about the most. You-
"What are you doing?" I dropped the pen that I held firmly in my hand, looking over to Lucas standing tall with his thoughts all messed up. "You've been writing for hours," Lucas continued, as I laid silent, looking at my paper. "How do you know what I'm doing?" I asked, looking at him, with bags under my eyes, slowly turning over my head. "I heard the pen move rather quick," he said, coming closer to me. I sighed, "You can leave now," I said, as Lucas came closer, but slowly. "But, classes start soon," Lucas was dressed in his robe, as I was dressed in a black sweater, slightly baggy black paints, and coat, mostly because it was cold out, or inside to say the least.
I was at the desk with a big, wooden chair under the Slytherin logo, it was a wonderful dorm compared the other small dorms. This one wasn't big, though it wasn't small either. "So?" asked Lucas, as I picked my pen up, covering my wizarding notebook that I saved up for years. Lucas would always question me why I didn't use my wizarding notebook for the letters I sent Asia, but it was mostly because the dusty book was much too precious to me. I spent years getting money for it, and Mum couldn't ever usually give me allowance, mostly because we were poor at the time, well, always. Even though Mum had a good job at the Ministry of Magic, the expenses for stuff like wizarding books, wizarding trinkets, wands, trips, etc, and all other things necessary for survival in the wizarding world.
I don't ever remember Father ever deciding to help us with food, child support, and many other things, but of course, he does have another child. Scorpius Malfoy, born 2005, a pureblood. A pureblood, something I was not. It pained me to know my father never had the courage to love me enough, but the courage to raise another child that wasn't me. If I could even call it courage. Mum would hate me to call Father a coward, she despises that word to be thrown that anyone, even the man she loved more than me.
I laid all that thinking in my head to realize the time, neither did I realize Lucas wasn't here anymore. He left hours ago, and I was too busy caught up in tearful lies. "Tom," I heard Ace shout, troubling my heart, as it pounded. "Your missing class, mate!" He sort of taunted, as I was alarmed. I ran down the halls, heading towards the class room with my head raised up high.
First class, Transfiguration. "Oi, you late!" yelled Prof. Glentoburg. "Sorry, Prof. Glentoburg," I said rather silent, I don't think he heard me clearly.
"Fine, mate, just sit down would ya?" The teacher was rather nice, and wasn't too harsh. "Thanks," I said, looking at Lucas talking to some boy named Grant. It wasn't of me to ease drop, after all, it was my brother. "So, you a second or third year?" Grant asked, as Lucas was silent, but then responded, "First."
"I'm first too! Although, I always wanted to learn a head of time, you know? But, I was far too lazy, and my mother wasn't too keen on the decision to over working me." Grant smiled, and waved his wand around like an utter idiot. Lucas smiled too, but had the urge to correct him. "Actually, I can feel you movements, they're all wrong," he said, taking his wand out. He swished it gracefully, making elegant blue waves flow out of his wand.
"Wow! You sure know magic!" He yelled for the whole class to here. "Ya," Lucas said silently. I then decided to come over and see what they were doing, even though I knew already. "Hello, I'm Tom," I said to Grant.
"I'm Gra-" I stopped him, "Nice to meet you, Grant," I said professionally. "How'd you know my name?" he grinned almost, but I just looked at his uniform, a Hufflepuff. "I think me and Lucas have to go. Plus, I know everyone's name here," I confidently said, grabbing Lucas, pulling him over to a Slytherin group of fourth yearers. They didn't mind us, we were Slytherin in all.
"Look," I continued in an angry tone of voice, "we don't go talking around with muggleborns! And not Hufflepuff's, for sure!" I snapped, as Lucas looked a little hurt. "I didn't know," his head was tilted down. I sighed, calming down. "That's alright, let's go to out second class then."
Me and Lucas headed of to charms together. We walked in the charms doors, seeing Prof. Flitwick and some older kids. I saw Asia walk out of the class, but I don't think she saw us. "Hello, Prof. Flitwick," me and Lucas said at the same time. "Hello, Tom and Lucius?" Prof. Flitwick said, questioning a bit. "Lucas," I corrected. "Oh, sorry," he apologized. "Well, sit down, you all have assigned seats. You should look at the upper corner by the flower vase," he pointed a dead flower, "and there should be piles of paper assigning your seats with your name and dorm number. This class is a bit different from the others, or at least the ones with more Slytherins and Gryffindor's than Hufflepuff's and Ravenclaws, okay Tom and Lucas?" "Of course," I said,
looking at the dead flowers.
"Good, just to make sure you know your dorm. If not, no worries. I will sort that out as soon as I can." He said, sitting in his seat, slowly sitting down. "I remember, no problem," I said, ensuring the talkative man. "Who's you roommate? Also sort by that, if possible. Ace was it? Nice kid, use to give me treats before he started his emo phase," he said, looking through names of old students that were in Hogwarts years ago. One name he flipped through, Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger, roommates in 1997, with dusty old paper of Mum's old exams.
"What are you waiting for? Sign in! Oh, I forgot, please sign your name in, the both of you," he smiled, pushing us over to where we needed to sign in. I searched for our dorm number, and our corridor number, 345 and 567. "Here!" I pointed to our numbers, near Ace's name. I signed my name down near a tiny box, and so did Lucas.
Charm's Students Class 2, First Year List
Lucy Moondice----First Year
Lucas Malfoy----First year
Tom Malfoy----First Year----Advanced Class
I wrote down my name, Tom Malfoy, and so did Lucas, but rather messily instead of nice cursive, LUCAS MALFOY. "Let's sit, I guess," I said, looking at my seat number, 2, and Lucas's, 5. "Yours is five," I said, "I'll lead you there." I walked pass my seat, sitting Lucas down, then heading off to my seat. "Good, good, class has started!" said Prof. Flitwick, as a bell rang, and two other sleepy students ran in. Ones name was Icy, well, her nickname. She was a Ravenclaw, but surprisingly wasn't in first class, which was the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff one. "Alright, seems were all here! And Ice, your late," Flitwick grinned, but Icy had tears falling down her face.
"What happened now?" asked one blond hair girl, a Gryffindor. "Just a dream," she responded.
We went on with class, and it was then happily over.
Lucas rushed out, as I just looked disappointed. "Go on with out me," I sighed. "Okay!" he smiled. I walked down the halls, fiddling with my wand, smiling. I swished my wand in the air, as it flew up. I then heard violent steps, and stopped. "Hello," I was startled. I looked behind me, Prof. McGonagal said. "I don't want you getting into anymore trouble," she continued, "go on with Lucas. " "Of course," I said, heading over to the Great Hall, where break would be held. I saw Lucas talking to Asia, and I was a bit tired from classes.
Hello, just want to say that please read Gemheart's part of the part of the story to get this part. I am honestly very tired, and don't have time to repeat the same steps she had done. Thanks for reading and continue enjoying! Here is the link to her part of the story (chapter nine), so you can get what happens on this part. Then come back and enjoy the rest!
Next class after break, potions. I walked in the halls with Lucas following me, and I followed Asia. We were in class, Prof. Doladure. "Hello, class! Please sign in. Your name shall be signed in over there," she pointed to one sheet of paper. "Okay," all three of us said. We all signed in, as Asia just stared at me. "What?!" I hissed. "You-" she was cut off as the teacher demanded is to come to our seats. I sat down, and Lucas as well as Asia sat down in their seats, right next to mine.
So, here's another chapter! I hope you enjoyed, and super sorry for grammar, spelling mistakes, and of course messing a few stuff up! I hope you enjoyed! This was 4 hours of hard core writing to make, so I hope you liked it, and it turns out long cause I worked hard for this chapter LOL