I took a few steps back from the statue of the Ravenclaw tower, looking at It instead of going outside to play in the snow. Rowena Ravenclaw, tall, beautiful, and smart. Everything a guy could want, I guess. Only recently had I started to notice. Maybe I was growing up, as Mum had commented several times. I sighed, it had been almost 2 years. I was 12, going on 13, and I was still friends with Tom and Lucas.
But Tom had changed. He was harsher. I endured it, but he didn't know how much it hurt me, let alone everyone else. I had walked back up to my dorm and was now crouched on my bed, hands clasped behind my neck and rocking back and forth. He had become meaner, almost. It hurt, he was pushing me away, he was hurting everyone. I had been his friend. I wanted to be his friend, despite the fact that he was a Malfoy. Other kids would've ran away, or kept a distance. I put myself on the frontline, taking every bullet and enduring the pain, and letting myself bleed. It was like he didn't know I had inner demons too. Like, I was just this perfect little kid. That I wouldn't notice the pain when it happened.
Like I was just a test dummy. Something to hurt, and watch be hurt.
Of course, he wasn't hurting on purpose. But he wasn't trying to stop either.
"Good evening," said Lizzy, in her grown-up voice. She used it when she wanted to act like an adult. It was annoying. "Go play in the snow, dearie." she said, pulling winter clothes on me like I was a ragdoll.
"Would you quit?" I hissed, and she clicked her tongue.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
"Sheesh. Go on, have fun."
"I will, if I can get away from you." I said, and walked out and into the halls of Hogwarts. I spotted Tom, but he didn't see me. He walked away into the snow, after smiling a fake smile at someone. I followed him, but soon lost him as a Hufflepuff threw a snowball at me. It was Caim, and he was grinning.
"Hey!" he said. "Care to join us?"
"I'm a nerd, not an athlete," I said, walking past and brushing the snow off my shoulder.
He grinned, a little uncertainly. One of his friends snickered and said, "Go chase after her, Toby. Go on." He didn't say it meanly, or mockingly but it should've been.
I walked faster as Toby tried to keep up. I sighed and swung my bag over my shoulder. He kept up and I finally turned with a hiss. "What?!" I spat.
"I wanted to say thanks. If you hadn't helped me first year I wouldn't be here." he smiled.
"Yeah. My pleasure." I said, brushing him off.
"Yeah. Um... see you later," he said.
I kept on walking, still seething.
I spotted Tom again, the next day, this time running and grabbing his shoulder as he left his common room. "Tom!" I said. "You've been avoiding me all year! What's wrong?!"
He shrugged and kept walking. My heart sunk again.
"TOM!" I yelled.
He stopped momentarily, and turned. Some Slytherins were staring now.
"What!?" he hissed.
"Why are you acting like this?! You're pushing me away! You're pushing everyone away! All you do is hurt, and hurt. You may not do it on purpose but you're still doing it! You think you're the only one who has problems?!" I gestured to everyone. "EVERYONE has problems! I have problems!"
His face remained slack, like he didn't believe me. "Oh, yeah? Like what?"
I gritted my teeth. "I don't wanna talk about it."
"That's because you can't, because you don't have them! You can't talk about things you've never experienced!!" he yelled. "How can YOU talk to me about my problems when you don't have any?!"
Now a group had gathered to listen to us shriek.
"I have plenty of problems!" I said. "Do you know why I live with Luna Lovegood?"
"Because your mum and dad died?" said Tom, in an annoying tone.
"NO! Because I'm CURSED!" I shrieked. I raised my hand. "I'm CURSED! I'm doomed to die before I reach 21! Doesn't that bother you?! I'll never get a husband, or a family, or children! Sure, your problem may be bad, but doesn't my pre-determined death put your doom or whatever into perspective?!"
I stood there, panting. All my anger was coming out.
"I'm gonna die..." I said quietly. "It doesn't matter if I get killed by the curse or by someone else or something else. You're still not gonna have me for much longer. You need to keep your friends close. You need to cherish them. Because no matter what, by your hand or someone else's, they're all gonna be gone one day."
I shoved through the group of kids, some of whom patted me on the back. I left Tom behind. I felt like I was leaving our friendship behind.
Lucas came up to me later.
"Tom really took your words to heart," he said. Llyr was with him.
"That's nice. I spill my biggest secret out and that's all he does?" I scoffed. "Yeah. Great."
Llyr looked down at me. "I'm a Greengrass, you know."
"The famed cursed family?" I said.
"Yeah."
"Well, I guess I'm related to you somehow." I said. "You know, before, my death didn't depress me. I guess that it I didn't acknowledge it, it couldn't exist. I still sorta hope that, but now it's in the open, I feel really bad, depressed. Like I'm sick and I won't ever get better. I just know that the illness will end when my life does."
'Why didn't you tell us before?" asked Lucas.
"I... I didn't want to burden you." I said.
"Burdens are easier to lift if more people help you shoulder it." Llyr said. "Just know Lucas is still your friend, okay?"
"Yeah."
I went to bed with red eyes.
Thanks for reading!!! I had fun writing the argument for an odd reason. Is that strange? Hope you enjoyed it. Looking forward to Chap2!
