Good job! But I noticed a few errors, if you don't mind me fixing them.
After a quotation, you must put a comma our a another abbreviation; but, you must not leave it empty. For example:
"Get out of the house Ari, fast!"
There are many places that are missing a comma, or you didn't even use any commas. There's not any sensory language, it's sort of bland in your result. It moved to quickly without anything to hold it together.
Another example I want you to take into consideration:
"Ari screams, 'No!' while she watched the house in flames burn down in dust."
You don't have to include the same sensory language, but you get what I mean. Also, a chapter is usually 1,000 words. You only included one paragraph. I noticed this is a intro, but even then it is shorter than usual. But still, keep up the good work!
