+7 votes
254 views
in English by

I need a character name for this farm girl. It has to be good,because I am submitting it to a contest.

                   Silence

                                                

I looked through the window and saw the full moon's light and the twinkling stars in the dark and mysterious sky of the night. My legs were hidden beneath my sleeping cat's white fur. As I almost drifted of to sleep,I thought about the life in the big city with those kids who have no idea what it was like to play in a forest or to chase the pigs running and rolling their backs against the mud. I overheard Mama saying that one of the city people had called her a chimpanzee. After my dad's death, Mama said that we don't belong here anymore. I asked her "Why Mama? What is wrong with the farm?" She said nothing,and when I asked her again,she started crying. I hate seeing Mama cry,so I kept quiet and never thought about bringing the subject up.


 

Then one day,I could not take it anymore,and I said, "Mama! Tell me please! I need to know!" Mama sat next to me on the dusty grey sofa and told me the whole story. "Sweetie…",she stuttered. "Dad did not leave us much good. He only left us with this farm and the animals to take care of. We need proper food and money...but we don't have any. So we can't keep the farm. We are gonna sell it to a family,who has good clothes,good children,good life…",she stopped. There was a long pause. We both kept quiet for a few minutes. Then she said, "We better start packing,don't we?" I nodded and headed toward my bedroom. I picked up my doll that Dad gifted me on my 7th birthday. I named her Cleopatra,the beautiful Egyptian queen. I put her in the a box,then I put the rest of my toys on top of her. I noticed that all of them were gifts from Dad. Then I cried a little bit. Just a little bit.

                




5 Answers

0 votes
by
Why not lina
0 votes
by
Lily!
0 votes
by (350k points)
Yes, that name is the same of me and Knight's story Silens I/ The Silent Trio.
+1 vote
by
Love the ending! So touching! You are really good @ writing! Maybe name her Ida or Elizabeth? Keep it up!
+1 vote
by (415k points)
Um, well the name of the story is the exact name of a book I'm co-authoring. But moving on, the grammar is okay, it isn't the worst but I can see some small grammar errors, so no worries. It is very short, even for a short story, but it overall isn't bad.
by

It is not finished. But can you please tell me the errors? I will also change the name to Silence instead of the Silent Trio. Thank you for being honest with your opinion!




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