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My life!!! Plz read very sad!!!!

+7 votes
asked Oct 12, 2019 in Personal by Lovely may
So... Um before I was born my mom was abused by a man that forced my mom to love him and then I was as born! My mom had my siblings one of them almost died that's my with eight year old sister I'm nine I'm the first child to be born so that pretty much makes me a big sister! And then the man got put in jail my mom was a single mom by that time! She always had hard times! It was very hard for me in my early life cause well... I Never understood what love meant from a father. So I never really had a dad because I never knew him so that makes the man my biological father and I never knew how it felt to say father. The man had some illness called A.D.H.D and they say that the man you mate with your child becomes it's attitude towards the mother because he had that now I have it! Plus on top of that I have anxiety disorder,and depression and I can get very aggressive like for example I will probably brake stuff because I'm really,really,really mad and because that man had that illness he gave that darn illness to me! And some time I'll think why do I have this dumb illness! Why me! UGh! So yeah that's an example and then later in the years ahead my mother met a new man he was not violent he was very calm and happy and always wanted to try new things and very cheerful! At first I was frightened because I never trust strangers so I pushed my siblings behind me so that it anything happens I was the one to get hurt so that my siblings would still have a chance to run and live! But all the man did was ask to shake my hand introduce  myself so I did and he did the same thing to my siblings and they introduced themselves too and he said I have been blessed with children! Let me be your father and I will try my best as your new father because I love you all the same he said then he gave us hugs next day he took us to the museum me and my siblings enjoyed it so did my step dad and my mother we all had a blast! Then we got ice cream! And we went home years later my mother and step father got married and now my step dad is no longer step dad he's now my father and he let me call him dad I had a weird feeling that I was very happy,excited,and hyper I could not help it! Then my mom had another child I thought that my mother would not pay attention to me I was sad,scared,I was ashamed then my mom came home from the hospital with a newborn then I said hey mom who is that! My mom said oh! He's your new baby brother! I was shocked ! And I screamed!ahhhhhh! I'm not ready to have another sibling! That only makes it harder for me! I yelled and complained then the next day I started to think the new baby was cute so I got along ! And years later I tried to kill myself cause I thought I was not important so I wanted to go to heaven and then I got on the middle of the street and almost got ran over by two cars and then I was taken a hospital I could not see my mother for a while cause I was locked up in a dark room  all pitch black and I would cry,and cry,and cry because I felt like I need not need a life to live cause I could live with out a body and at least I would still have my soul and live in heaven! Then I came home and my uncle found a new girlfriend she was nineteen he was thirty years old the girl had a child and then one day the grandma called my mom and said my friend uncle was abusing her so my mom called the police and sheirf and cops they arrested my uncle for doing drugs in front of a child and the girl got taken to a hospital where they would teach her not to do drugs and be a perfect mom while that my mom had to foster the newborn baby girl I guess that means more work for me! And yeah I have a lot of stress in me and sadness cause I am new to a school and I'm in forth grade I'm gonna be vice president and I'm going to be a leader in training at church and plus on top of that I have therapy and a lot of stuff that make me nervous but I wanna let you all know no matter what happens never give up you can do anything just a leap of faith is the key to happiness in life.

6 Answers

+4 votes
answered Oct 14, 2019 by Crafter4017 (3,090 points)
My condolences
+4 votes
answered Oct 15, 2019 by SnickerDoodles

Im sorry for yousad_smile.

+5 votes
answered Oct 15, 2019 by SnickerDoodles
one thing though, suicide is a HUGE sin so if you killed yourself that would actually have lead you to hell. glad you´re okay.
commented Oct 15, 2019 by toad aka star (319,210 points)

Agreed, I've attempted but I am religious and I do not want to go to heck. Glad she's okay too wink_smile

commented Oct 16, 2019 by LunaLight (87,270 points)
I dont understand how suicide is a sin. Never have, never will. People who commit suicide do it because they feel like they are in a mental hell, so why should they have to go to another one? And don't take any of this too seriously, I don't know much about religions so bare with me here, but what if someone who never commited any sins (I know that wouldn't be possible, but hypothetically) commited suicide? Someone who was a good person, but still, I don't understand why they would go to hell for that. Everything I have seen shows people who commit suicide go to hell, but why? Why would that be a sin? And I have never found anything when Google searching on why people who commit suicide would go to hell. So, if you could, would you elaborate on how commiting suicide is a sin?
commented Oct 17, 2019 by SnickerDoodles
Well, God is supposed to pick when you go out. He did not make life so we could waste it. You were not supposed to take life or death in your own hands.
commented Oct 17, 2019 by toad aka star (319,210 points)

Because YOU killed someone, and worst of all you killed yourself. How can it not be a sin? In the bible, it says not to make other Gods, basically not to taint God to fulfill your own satisfaction. Unless that person can ask for forgiveness, then they going to Hell because yes, that is a very bad sin. If I was to kill someone, would I go to Hell? Heck yes! How...how can you not see it as a sin?? I'm so confused, it's so bad that's like saying Ted Bundy was an angel. In Christianity, as I am a Baptist, I quote this, "Suicide is certainly a sin—because it robs a person of the sanctity of life and the full time given to them by God alone. Family and friends of a believer who has committed suicide should never worry about whether their loved one is in heaven."

It's not an unforgivable sin as it is shown in (Jhon 5:24; 10:28) But, they must be saved and never lose their salvation. For a Christian, it's a horrible sin because it's a life wasted that God intended to have a purpose for. It's a blatant argument to say it is not such as a sin because it is murder and we do not condemn it.  I don't know about you, but they going to heck. One more thing, what if you killed someone? Hung them, slit their throat, aborted them, starved them? In the 10 commandments, it says shall not murder (particularly one another); And someone not committing sins? Well, too bad because they just broke that perfect record by killing someone. This body, see it? It the mirror? This body God gave you? Yeah, that life God gave you? The only person who can end your life is God: no one decides to end of life but God. To me, that is why murder is the worst, and abortion. It's murder. It's killing yourself. Killing yourself. Let me say that again, IT'S KILLING YOURSELF!!!


Might I add something else about your statement, someone who is a "good person." Your most likely not a good person, I know I'm not a good person. Why? because in the old Testament [before Jesus], you must ask yourself, have I ever stole, looked at a person with lust, told lies? I've stolen, I'm sure you've stolen something once. I've sure lied and I've looked at a person in lust and yes, I'm 12. So, am I going to Heaven or Hell if I die right now? Hell. I'm going to hell. But, because Jesus died for my sins, I will go to heaven and be admitted to my father. When I say this, God is judgemental, he would look at me as a lying, adultery thief. But, as this part to me is confusing, if I place my faith in Jesus and what he has died for then I will be in Heaven. Now lust, lying, thievery, it's only human. I'm only human, you are only human. But this sin, this the devil. 

commented Oct 17, 2019 by SnickerDoodles
couldnt have said it better myself. good job Knight star.
commented Oct 17, 2019 by toad aka star (319,210 points)
thanks, just pouring my Christian heart out haha...even though I'm not even Christian...
commented Oct 17, 2019 by LunaLight (87,270 points)
But if you are suffering that bad why would you have to go to another hell? And not all attempts work, if God wanted one to die from suicide they would, if not, they would survive it. Again, forgive me for not knowing much about this stuff. And some people who commit suicide are good people Knight, just in a bad situation.
commented Oct 18, 2019 by SnickerDoodles
Look, No matter what you say suicide is murder and never a good option. God chooses who lives and who dies and that settles it.
commented Oct 18, 2019 by toad aka star (319,210 points)
I know a lot about suicide, don't think I balled my eyes out going to kill myself? When your what you think are seconds away from death, it's terrible. In one of the first commands of God says we shall not taint God to fit our little picture, sorry Luna it's a sin. You're going to Hell right now, I'm going to Hell, but Jesus died for us! What a great thing! They would die because they killed themselves. What if your head got torn off? Would you die or not? Yes, yes you would. God can't control that, he can make miracles but if you die your dead. You would go to another Hell if you kill someone. But, did you not read what I said? It's not unforgivable. Trust Jesus and Jesus alone and God and you will be reborn again, that sentence is off your list. Once again, it's okay for not knowing a lot about this stuff despite Christianity not being a religion. A good person can kill another person, Luna, and that's what makes them bad people.
commented Jan 23 by Lazy Ammy-K

Well, you're right, is would have been a very selfish thing to do to everyone who knew her, but the Bible teaches that no matter what, if you have accepted Jesus Christ into your heart, you will go to Heaven. In fact, the new testament teaches that a thief and murderer who was dying on a cross accepted Jesus to be his LORD and savior and his soul went to Heaven despite all the crimes he had committed.

+2 votes
answered Oct 16, 2019 by Kitten (516,840 points)
My condolences to you
+2 votes
answered Oct 16, 2019 by NATHAN (63,040 points)
I am very sorry.

And don’t get mad at your self for having adhd believe it or not I have it too.

I am also sorry your mother was abused.

If you need help with anything just ask me!

And I hope you get better.
commented Oct 16, 2019 by toad aka star (319,210 points)
Yeah, it's very common, happens to almost everyone on the planet so don't feel bad about it.
+2 votes
answered Oct 16, 2019 by toad aka star (319,210 points)
edited Oct 17, 2019 by toad aka star
Okay, well main thing is I literally lost a few brains cells reading all of that but good for you and your new sib. But also, I tried killing myself two times, lost distance to my family, I felt lonely and the only person to lean on was myself. If you kill yourself, I know I cannot provide in my heart to forgive you. And you did in third grade? Look, my first attempt was in fourth when I was nine. Depression got to me really bad at that age. Really bad, I was going to do it, nothing matters. When i was ten i attempted again, a few months before i started KS, crazy ain't it?
commented Oct 17, 2019 by LunaLight (87,270 points)
Literally? You literally lost a few brain cells?
commented Oct 18, 2019 by toad aka star (319,210 points)
It was very hard to understand and I zoned out ten times.
commented Nov 29, 2019 by Dreamsycl_Manokit (61,900 points)
I totally felt that lol

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