ｓｈｅ ｔｏｌｄ ｈｉｍ || ｂｙ Ｋｎｉｇｈｔ Ｓｔａｒ
It was a renounced pain between your chest. Something had felt like it was burning inside of you, something felt desperately dull all round you. The clock in your grey living room clicked twelve. And your soft hands could only rub on your apron. It captured a moment of guilt, feeling like you had not raised Oli right—your son. He’s the only one you cared for, your husband was too drifted in his own world you could only make assumptions.
He hadn’t been paying the bills. And no money was given for Oli’s clothing. But he had insisted he was working. That same lighting bolt had rubbed against your rib cage now. Just a feeling of your stomach sinking in your fat. And your heart felt like it was ripping to shreds.
“Momma, I’m hungry.”
You couldn’t pay attention. It was a quick physical pain before a tear slipped from your eye. Your face was red as you blinked twice. Oli didn’t know why you were sad, he was only ten. But you could tell it hurt him too; knowing momma was sad. And it only recurred that it was all your fault. His father had gone hunting now, and she was left alone to cook the butchered named Fred.
They couldn’t keep the farm and the animals. It was better just to stand there and pretend a being happy – or a feeling of death, something eating you up slowly and puncturing your insides. You didn’t want to tell Oli that the farm was unable to be kept and that we would have to kill all the animals. He was deeply in love with Willow and Ella, the two that were gonna be slaughtered next Sunday. They had been doing this for a while.
But they weren’t like them, they weren’t human. They can’t feel emotions, they are savages. And thought they look human, they are better like this, much dead. And relations are not able. They aren’t human. She told him not to name other humans. She told him.