WARNING: IT'S GONNA BE LONG!!!!
It's meh, Coffee Cake! Lately i've been having some problems, and I wanted to know if y'all could help in some way! Normally, I am a little socially awkward, but this is like, weird. And I think it might have something to do with KNG dumping me like she did (see post Sigh... What Do I Do?) Like, sometimes, at school, I try to talk to people who I don't normally talk to, and I find myself embarrased and shaky for no reason! And then they wonder what's wrong with me, and then I'm sure that my breath smells, or they think I'm stupid, or stuff, and it just goes in a downward cycle from there until it gets so awkward that I have to end the conversation! Yes, I'm known for being a little shy, but this is kinda wacko. Also, I keep gettign random like, nervous attacks if you wanna call it that, where I get nervous for NO REASON AT ALL!! And then, today, (finals day, coincidentially), in english, because we took our test on Friday, we presented our movie we made of a couple scenes from the Outsiders. The other group went before me, and their movie looked like it belonged in Hollywood, and then when I went to show my groups, the sound stopped working on the TV, and it made my whole group look BAD! We eventually fixed it, but our movie wasn't anything NEAR the quality of theirs, and I started to cry. This girl I'll call... Starfish (idk anymore) came up to me and gave me a hug, (she's always super nice) and it made me feel better, but also made me cry even more. After the movie, we were given twelve minutes to write a alternate ending for the Outsiders, and I thought mine was pretty good, but when i went up to present, I got really shaky and talked really fast, and everybody noticed. And then, in art, i just felt down in the dumps bc of the day's happenings, tried to have a conversation with Starfish, but once again it was way too awkward, as we aren't really great friends. Even at volleyball yesterday, I started feeling really sad, like I was doing everything wrong, and the practice just wasn't fun with me, even with my friend I'll call CakePop (she hates cakepops lol) laughing like a maniac the whole time. The last problem is, theres this girl (the fraternal twin of Starfish) that I'll call Turtle, and she is AMAZING at volleyball, and super pretty, just like Starfish, but for some reason, whenever I'm around her, I feel really self-concious and intimidated, and I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY!!! It mostly started after KNG ditched me, but I'm not sure that's the case, but if it is, I dont know how to fix it, because she cut all ties to me, and none of my friends are willing to Email her because they think she is annoying.