o-o ???

Question

Hi, Luna! Other people are welcome to answer this. I just thought Luna might be able to help me. So, I have this thing. Since 4th Grade, when people started having crushes, I have had “crushes” too. But now, looking back on that, it was all probably just me trying to fit in. Whenever anybody tells me about their crush, or anything like that, and ask me for help, I try to help them if they are arguing by saying “think of something that makes you happy”. They say, “you don’t understand. He/she makes me happy.” I thought I had crushes before, but they were really just boys I thought were cute. I’ve never had real feelings like that for anyone before. Every once in a while, I’ll go through some phase of thinking a girl is cute, but then I’ll just convince myself that since a lot of my friends are LGBT, I am trying to be, too. And it’s true, I don’t like them. I just admire how they are prettier/smarter/more athletic than me.  I wish I could feel like that for someone, and I know I’m young, but I want somebody to hold onto. When one of my friends announced her feelings to her crush, they got so close and she was so happy. I wish something could make me happy besides being a furry, because there are so many complicated secrets and misconceptions and lies and half-truths with that that make my head spin. At the end of the day, I’m just the furry girl who loves stuffed animals, books, and can never focus in class. How do I get over the feelings that I could never love somebody and even if by some wild chance I could, they could never love me back. That i’ll never have anyone to hold onto but y’all, and y’all are just names on a screen. That being a furry is something I need to keep secret, and that I need to change who I am to be accepted.  I also need to stop treating my stuffed animals like living things... but that’s a different story.

Answer 1

Well, I have never had a crush either, there was one time in 5th grade where I said I liked someone but it was the same, just trying to fit in. Someday I might have a crush, but for now personally, I would rather distance myself from that, since 97% of middle and high school relationships do not last anyway, I won't matter eventually. But I am sure you will feel that way some day, and when You do there are PLENTY of KT users to help.

Comments

Thank you, Luna. I think the stem of all these thoughts is a worry that someone will think i’m weird. Like, i was fine with that for a while, but then like with my parents being protective I became kind of guarded, and my brother has anger issues so now if someone gets mad at me I kind of flinch, and sometimes even if someone isn’t mad I think that they are and flinch and be like why are you mad and they they’ll say no your mad and then it just spirals downward... Also the KNG incident kind of threw me off. The rest of my friends kind of understood that i’m kind of a whatever-you-want kind of person, and that I grow very attatched to my friends. KNG took my whatever you want as being “too meek and shy” and encouraged me to come out of my shell. This was helpful, but while she was trying to help me out of my shell, she decided i was clingy and fragile. This just made me even more so, and then she left the school so I couldn’t see her in person. She started telling me that my friends were... in other words awful and that AFIA was a zillion times better than MSSA, and that my friends were talking about me behind my back. And for a while, I said nothing about it, but after some time, With all her encouragement to just be strong and stand up for what I believe in, I decided to stand up for my friends. I told her that i didn’t wanna fight or lose her friendship over this, but my friends are nice to ME even if they weren’t to HER. She was just like ugh why should I stick around with someone who likes the people who hated me. Bye this friendship is over. When I tried to prod her back into talking to me, because I know she probably doesn’t hold it against me, she holds it against my friends, she was like this friendship is over so please make the communication over, too. She was never bad to me. My friends were mean to her, and vice versa. But, being stuck in the middle, she had to leave me, too. It’s not that she was the kind of person that i should leave, or that she didn’t like me, it’s that she didn’t like my friends. I’m sorry, you’ve probably already heard this. I SHOULD JUST LET GO. i should just let go. there. i admitted it to myself. But that’s the reason I’m like this. She threw me for a loop, and then left me. I keep thinking it’s my fault.

---

It is not. I have been through so many friendships, I only have one that I consider real (other than you guys), that is with Crystal. All my other friends have betrayed me, bullied me, used me, taunted me, lied to me, and or hated me the entire friendship. I used to be the type of person who says "okay, as long as you are happy" and have always been clingy because I try to hold onto good friends, yet ironically, that is why some people hate me. I used to be empathic more, I used to always put others needs before my own even if it hurt me. Then i went through depression and tried to focus on myself for awhile, which I still am. But that sorta led into apathy, and I am really trying to help other people more, which is why I started an advice column. Now, I am more cautious though, about how much I trust other people. Try not to let others take advantage, watch just how much you do for them. Don't get me wrong, it is good to help others, but ask if it is something that you want to do or if it will go against you or hurt you somehow first.

---

A lot of my really close friends have betrayed me to :( also, how doo you start an advice collum

---

There are requirements. You have to be a registered user with a certain amount of points. Then you ask KS in a post. I forget how many points.

Answer 2

I could relate with this a lot. I too have had these 'crushes' since 4th grade, but that was just me trying to fit in with everyone.

Answer 3

Hi

Comments

hi there

Answer 4

Just be yourself! there's no reason to change who you are for someone else. If they have a problem with you being a furry so be it! that shouldn't matter, what matters is that your living your life the way you want to live it, not the way people are trying to. Trying to fit in are just people who haven't found themselves yet its perfectly normal but i think you should be true to yourself and not care what others think.

P.S. I also talk to my stuffed animals

Comments

Nice to know that i’m not the only one who talks to my stuffed animals. Thank you for the reassurance. I am glad I am a furry, I am just not sure how to tell my parents, and also nervous because people at my school might find out and they don’t like furries

---

me to :)