PLEASE help with life advice!!!

Question

Hello. There’s not anything desperately wrong with my life right now but I need advice because nothing feels right.

1. I’m questioning my sexuality again (what if I’m straight and I’m telling myself I’m not?)
2. Homeschool is stressing me out, I have too much to do and I’m too disorganised
3. My little sister hates my guts and my parents always think everything is my fault
4. I feel attacked because I don’t have a proper religion
5. I want to be in a relationship (even though I can’t because I’m way too young and also covid-19), I need someone to be there for me and to just be myself with
6. I’m not sleeping well at all (I stay up way too late watching Dutchy on YouTube and doing ‘are you gay’ quizzes)
7. I think I have a mild eating disorder and/or ADHD and anger issues

these are very melodramatic interpretations of my thoughts, i know I’m making a mountain out of a molehill but something feels not right. I would be so grateful for any advice.

Answer 1

1. Look at both genders, are you attracted to both, or only one? Just truly think about it. When I was thinking about the possibility of being lesbian, i was like "Girls? Nah... well... maybe... yeah. Boys are gross (no offence boys)."

2. Breath, 4-7-8. Try taking sometime to organize things, make a list, set small goals, set a timeframe for said goals. Then try listenig to music or somethng if it helps you focus.

3. Yeah sorry, i ain't got nothing. 

4. You might have to explain a little more on that one. But I technically don't have any religion right now, I'm still thinking about Hellenism (not to be confused with Satanism, two very different things) but for the meantime I will say atheist.

5. I get that, but it sounds kinda like you need a best friend too. I offer my friendship if you want, !

6. Hon, i watch YouTube, anime, go on KN, KT and WebToon past midnight every day, i get it. If you feel like it is affecting you try to get some more sleep. Don't try to make yourself stay up longer than your body wants to, if you start feeling tired go to sleep *hypocrisy level rising*.

7. For ADHD, take some quizzes. If you can't focus on anything unless it interests you and your attention span is either 0 or 100 it is quite likely. For eating disorder, what kind of eating disorder? Like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, ARFID, purging disorder, ortherexia? Don't ask how I know about so many eating disorders. As for anger issues... me too hon. Just try ways of getting out anger. Creative outlets are great, as is listening to music, breathing 4-7-8 or meditation, running or punching a pillow. 

 

I hope I helped!

Comments

Thanks so much for the advice! It really helps!

1. I do like girls, definitely, but I also like boys. I find it easier to be attracted to boys but I like being attracted to girls more, does that make sense? I have phases, so I guess I’m bi then :)
2. That helps, thx
3. S’okay lol 
4. Yeah, I sort of fit in with some Christian beliefs but not all, and I hate church etc., it’s complicated
5. Yes please I would love to be your friend!!
6. Yeah that’s sort of what I know I should do, but gay Youtube is sooo good...
7. I took some quizzes, it says I might have mild ADHD, moderate anxiety, very mild anorexia, moderate to high anger issues and moderate depression...  screaming into and punching a pillow helps lol

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6. I know hon, i know.

7. So for the ADHD, try finding something to help you focus. For me, it is music. For some people it is silence and others it is noise. I can't stand silence because when there is no sound my brain makes up sounds and I focus on that. With music, it is something I have heard before and don't pay much attention to it. For anxiety or anytime you feel stressed 4-7-8 can help. Closing your eyes with it helps too. For anger, again, try doing something physical, especially if it involves you hitting something. For me, punching bag, running, volleyball, badminton, are all things that help. For depression... *hugs* You is awesome human!

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Thanks for the tips! I never really realised it but I’m always humming or tapping something, I guess I can’t deal with silence either *checks off on ADHD symptom list*... Sports do help me calm down. Badminton, tennis and swimming (I can’t do swimming because of darn covid-19!!!) help, or lifting heavy stuff (idk why...). And hugs always help lol.

Answer 2

My answers, even though I am dealing with a lot of the same stuff:

1. Just dig deep into your soul. It sounds cheesy, but you just need to think: Am I worried about forcing myself to be lgbtq+ for no apparent reason? Or am I just questioning my thoughts?

2. Same here. On Thursday I had to take a day and not do any work because I let my mental health get to me. Maybe you should take a day like that, the teachers will probably understand (I didn’t even tell mine when I took a break, no one even noticed). As for the disorganizing, if you ever take a day like that, you up it to tidy up. You will feel a bit less stressed if you pick up a bit.

3. I can’t help you there. My sister is a pain in the butt, too!

4. I don’t have a proper religion either. It sounds weird, but sometimes I believe in the Greek gods, and sometimes the Christian God. I’m sorry you feel attacked, just know that it’s okay.

5. Sameeeee and all the people I fall in love with have homophobic parents and another person who is 5 years older than me.

6. I stay up late drawing, and then wake up crazy early and watch YouTube and cringey dance videos till a reasonable hour so my mom doesn’t realize I was doing that.

7. I’m sorry to hear that you might have an eating disorder. Trust me, I feel like I’m fat all the time. But I love food too much to give it up.

Hope you feel better, you are an amazing human being (heh, no pun intended)

Comments

Thank you so much for the help!

1. Yeah I think I do like girls, it’s just easier to like boys. Girls are better tho lol
2. I procrastinate loads so I have a giant pile of work from the last two weeks I still have to do... :(
3. #annoyingsistersquad
4. Thanks, I’m just figuring it out but some of the Christians are like you can’t be Christian and LGBT+ (but you can!!)
5. I feel that... my overriding girl crush is so much older than me and she doesn’t know I exist :(
6. Good idea! I can never wake up on school days though haha
7. I love food too... I’m just scared of loving it too much lol. I’m not crazily anorexic, I’m more ‘oh no, I can’t eat that, it has 12g of sugar in it!’ 
    

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4. One of my favorite YouTubers (dangthatsalongname) is a gay Christian, so that is bull.

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I'm not christian!! I don't have a religion.... My grandparents are religious, but I'm not a big fan. No offense to any christians, I'm just not sure.

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Omg, Luna I love Dangthatsalongname! I’ve rewatched his coming out video so many times lol. Have you watched Dutchy? She posts LGBT+ content like 3 times a week, she’s like my bi big sister that I never had (even though I am literally the bi big sister XD)!

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Yeah, Scott is awesome, i first found him by watching LaurenzSide and Scott react to a Hooked text messages video. After a while I was like "Wait, Scott's gay isn't he?", cause like, it's quite obvious with his demeanor. Then I watched his coming out video several times too lol. I will check out Dutchy. But I just like Scott's overall attitude, he is an upbeat dude who is almost always smiling in his videos, funny, ect.

Answer 3

1- If you’ve determined that you think you like girls, don’t doubt yourself! ;) be confident!

2- I feel you! I can’t offer you organization tips, because I am probably the most disorganized hooman bean on planet Earth, lol.

3- Older sibling problemmmsssss... Ahe probably doesn’t hate you, my little brother acts like that sometimes but in the end he’s funny and fun to be around.

4- It’s okay to not have a religion, no matter what others say! I mean I feel like I should make a Christian comment but I also feel like I don’t wanna come off as bashing you. You be you!

5- I feel you. Sometimes I just wish I had a boyfriend because it seems so sweet and like, they would support me and stuff (*^ω^*)

6- Try to curb your YouTube addiction, maybe! I don’t know how hard that is because I’m not allowed to have YouTube.

7- What do you mean by an eating disorder? I may have had a mild one sometime in the past but idk, maybe I can help. As for ADHD, ask your parents! Chances are they’ll be supportive, and also, I love ADHD-Aliens little comic-things, just search up “ADHD-Alien and they come up. They’re really cute and, if you have ADHD, super relatable.

Comments

Thank you for the advice! It’s very helpful :)

1. I go through phases of attraction to girls and boys so I’m just figuring it out... I’m bi probably 
2. I should be doing work right now but instead I’m on KT lol
3. Yep, she’s funny some of the time but most of the time she despises me :(
4. Thank you, I know some Christians who would be like ‘Find God and repent’
5. Yeah, I just need my ‘person’... (a girl because boys my age are jerks lol)
6. It’s not really an addiction, it’s more that the gay side of YouTube is sooo good
7. I took some online tests, I have mild ADHD, moderate anxiety, moderate to high anger issues and very mild anorexia... oh yeah and moderate depression. My parents will never believe me :(

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You’re so welcome! As for the tests, one thing I would advise telling your parents about ADHD/anger issues is not “Hey, I took an online test and it said ‘xyz diagnosis’. Just say “I’ve been having some issues focusing, and I feel like I blow up all the time. I think I might have ADHD / Anger issues. Can I talk to a doctor about it?” That’s what I did, and things worked out fine! I’m scheduling an appointment with an online therapist sometime soon! As for the anorexia, just from your comments on other people’s posts about not being able to eat something because it has ‘xyz Grams of sugar/calories’ I go through the same thing. It’s not exactly anorexia, at least not from what I know, it’s just being overly conscious of food nutrition facts, and if anything, it helps us stay healthier! :)

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Yeah, I took some more anorexia tests, it says I have chronic bulimia (no way in heck I have bulimia) so I’m probably just overly sugar-conscious, like you said. I haven’t told my parents yet but will soon. I contacted my school counsellor in private so we’re getting something arranged. Thanks for your help :)

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you’re welcome! Bullimia, that’s weird, I personally could never have it because normally you, we, th__w up to purge food after you binge...

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Yeah, I love food but I would never binge eat, I don’t think anything could possess me to do that to myself. I’d never force myself to boke either, throwing up is one of the most horrible things i’ve ever done (take it from a girl who’s had her fair share of continuous migraine throwing-up episodes) so doing it voluntarily would be torture!!