KidzTalk

GIRLS ONLY (seriously, boys, you DON’T want to know. We’ll be talking about breasts.)

+3 votes
378 views
asked Oct 26, 2020 in Girls' Advice Column by Nora

Hey!! Had a few questions for ya...

Boys, don’t read any further. It’s gonna be graphic. Yeah, it’s about the b-word. No, not that. Boobs. So, stop now and thank me later.

K. So now that we got rid of the creeps, my 4 questions:

1) I have budding breasts. I am 10 y.o. You know, that uncomfortable stage right after flatness where they jiggle and hurt at every little thing. You aren’t there yet? Oh, it’s fun. *sarcasm alert*

2) So many of my friends already got their period and I WANT TO HAVE IT SOON. And no, don’t answer this with a “oh, you don’t want it.” Or, “everyone grows at their own pace.” I just feel kinda left out and I REALLY want to grow.

3) I’m sorta getting curious bout babies...

4) Uh... boys. Like I mentioned before, I’m TEN. Yet I have so many crushes! Is it normal?? My mom started getting her first crushes at like 15, and my dad, well, I don’t really know about him. My mom also told me that I shouldn’t start dating and liking boys until I’m about 12/13 (she was apparently a late bloomer) but I think that I just have those fun, raging hormones that make you have those absolutely great (sarcasm, remember?) mood swings and huge crushes.

Thanks, girls! Boys, I’m disappointed in you guys. I told you not to read this. That might have just changed my mind in y’all. See ya.

 

Nora

commented Nov 13, 2020 by DayLightFullDay
11/13/2020

Dear Nora,

I  stumbled on to your post while searching for fun and interesting sites my 10 year old daughter could check out during her breaks from "at home" school work. Since she's approximately the same age, I decided to read your post out of curiosity. Knowing what concerns a 9 or 10 year old is important for Moms to know.

Anyway, I thought it would be benefit to you or other young girls to hear from a Mom other than your own Mom. You should understand that advice given to you from any Mom usually comes from mistakes made and lessons that they have had learned themselves from the experiences in their own lives. Know that Moms are always giving the advice in order to protect you from harm and making poor life decisions.

In your tweens and upper teen years, the decisions that you make could decide the direction your life takes. For example, if you someday might like to be a famous singer, dancer, musician or other type of performer then starting practice of it when your ten (or sooner) will give you a greater chance of success when you become an adult. When your an adult on your own, showing the world who you are. You might hear when watching a famous actress or singer being interviewed on TV say, "I started dancing when I was 10!"

If you do some research online and find the biography of any of your favorite famous female celebrities, more often you will learn that most of them did NOT have children until after they became successful. Meaning...NOT while they were in their teens or twenties.  Those are the years they were dedicating their time to improving themselves with education and/or training in the area they desire to gain success.

You will never see a woman being interviewed on TV for being a Mother. Mom's, unfortunately do not get the recognition and appreciation they deserve. I know this personally.

You probably think that having a baby is terrific. However, the commitment of taking care of a human... FOREVER is life altering experience. It creates limitations.

You should be aware (at 10 years old) that once you becomes a Parent that YOUR own life, the dreams and other things YOU want become second on the list of priorities. They sometimes even disappear. As a parent you must make decisions that support the needs of your new child. When your child is young they require your attention and care all the time. You can not rely on ANY one else to assist you. Sure, you may have some help from Grandma, Grandpa, the baby's Father or a friend BUT, if none of them are around, it's ONLY YOU to care for this human being. EVERY choice you make effects that child's life and having the child will limit what you can do, where you live, what job you can get and if you can get an education.

If you have any interest in gaining success in your life as a Restaurant owner, an Actor, a Dancer, a Singer, a Doctor, a Lawyer, a Scientist, or anything other than Mother then you should ignore having a "boyfriend" and instead just be a friend. Holding hands, kissing and other touching eventually leads to making babies later in the relationship.

A lot of women want only to be a Mother and there isn't anything wrong with that. However, many of them were never given the opportunities when they were young to be anything else but a Mother. Sure they love being a Mom, as do I. But, if they had a choice most women would say that they like to have become a Fashion Designer, a Dancer, or own a Bakery before becoming a Mom. They wished they had first pursued their dreams.

Women who became Moms before trying to do anything else never get to see their full potential met. If, when 10 years old, they continued to developed their natural talents, creative skills or build their mind intellectually they might have become the Supreme Ballerina, a famous Singer, a Nobel Prize Winning Scientist, a Federal Supreme Court Judge or even the President. If girls (and boys) do not focus on getting the best education and developing their natural talents then our world might not find the cure for cancer or disease, or the invention of a clean burning source of power, have a new way to travel (flying cars?) or discover other magnificent ideas which improve our world in a harmonious way. EVERY person must try. Give the world a chance to find out what you have to offer it.

In the United States, an education is free to you. Even the cost of some college is free. In the U.S.A. a girl has freedom to choose. YOU will become a woman and will have a choice to live your life ANY way YOU desire. Don't allow any one PUSH you in to a direction that doesn't make your heart sing. Give yourself time to find your own purpose.

Yes, I know babies are soooo adorable, and fun and huggable! BUT, being the full-time owner of a baby is NOT easy. If you have the desire to be around babies then be a baby-sitter, or do part-time help at a Child Day Care. Give yourself a chance to TRY OUT being a Mom before actually becoming one.

Personally, I waited to have a child much later in life. I was 40 years old. But I do NOT regret waiting. When I was in my twenties, I took my time to figure I wanted to do for a job by taking a lot of fun interesting class at the local Junior College. Then I focused on one career, earned a 2-yr degree, then pursued jobs in that industry. I had my own money and freedom to travel, go to parties, and do whatever I wanted, ANY time I wanted and it was amazing.  In my thirties I changed my career path to pursue art and teaching. Once I had things set up, doing what my heart desires, working for myself as an Artist and planted my feet in a small city I love, Then, I decided to have a baby. It may have taken me longer than most other women but, now I have many life experiences that I can pass on to her.

So unless you have a terrific supportive family or a loyal supportive Father (of your child) then, I strongly suggest you WAIT until your late 20's or early 30's.

Whenever making a life-changing decision, please be certain that you TRY OUT that something before committing to it. And, the decision should be YOUR IDEA, YOUR DESIRE, something YOU want. NOT be an idea or desire of someone else pushing on to you. I don't care if it's your Mother, your Father, or your best friend, YOU should make the choices that effect your life. I might take you 10 years to find what makes your heart sing but, give yourself plenty of time to decide. Don't let anyone rush you. While you are a tween, just practice hard at whatever it is you're already good at or try on many different things to explore your choices. And remember, it's never too late to learn something new, go to college, or start your own business even if you do first become a Mom. There is plenty of time to become a Mom, I suggest first explore who you are and who you might become! Here is a link to a list of videos of very inspirational women.

https://www.ted.com/talks?sort=newest&topics%5B%5D=women

Sincerely,

~ DayLightFullDay

A loving Mom (of a 10 yr old girl)
commented Dec 20, 2020 by -GEMHeart- (290,300 points)
Hi DayLightFullDay. This is amazing advice, thanks for sharing it! :)
commented Jan 6 by Nora
Thank you so much! I do have big dreams (Olympic gymnast, doctor, maybe actress or singer lol) but I also really want to be a mom. I am the kind of girl who loves challenges and never, ever backs down from one. I literally have a life plan (I’m 11, so it might change heh):

Finish school

Become Olympic gymnast

Go to UCLA, do gymnastics there, study medicine

Become a doctor

Get married

Have 3 children

Work hard whole life

Die in peace

 So great advice, tysm!
commented Jan 20 by anonymous

HEY THIS IS A KID ONLY WEBSITE STOP SNOOPING angry_smile

commented Feb 4 by LunaLight (123,450 points)
Technically, KS never said it was a kid-only website, and you need your parents' email to register anyway. It's fine if parents want to check out the content before approving. Anyway, I find that advice good as well. Personally, I have no current interest in relationships (I'm 13), and I couldn't have a child besides adoption anyway (homodemisexual). But I have been drawing since I was 11, and I would like to pursue a career as an artist myself, manga or comics is my goal. I will probably take advanced art and creative writing in HS, along with other electives that will help me to the path I want, go to a college, major in art, minor in psychology, learn a trade, and I will try pursuing art as a career, although I will try getting a job as a therapist while I am pursuing art since I've heard art is a hard career to follow, being a psychiatrist is more stable. If I can't get a job as a therapist, I'll try getting a job for the trade I learned, however, I am still deciding what that will be. I've had that planned out for a while now. I would like to raise a kid someday, but I would make sure I'm financially and emotionally stable before adopting.
commented Feb 9 by Mhafangirl
Dear anonymous:

You don’t have to be so rude she was just helping this ten year old girl who asked for help and it was very helpful. I was actually happy when I saw her message because it shows she is a very helpful mother.
commented Feb 22 by anonymous
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

                                  ok yeah the point is WHO CAN READ ALL OF THAT DAYLIGHTFULLDAY?
commented Feb 22 by LunaLight (123,450 points)
All of the rest of the people who commented and then some.
commented Mar 18 by anonymous
how did daylightfullday type that much then?
commented Mar 18 by LunaLight (123,450 points)
...? You asked who could read it, and I said all of the people who commented and some more who just scrolled through.
commented Apr 6 by anonymous (100 points)
That was very helpful,and its awesome that you took the time to write that wise advise.Thank you


9 Answers

0 votes
answered Mar 18 by anonymous

I guess I don't know what to say I'm only 8 so up to 6 more years until my period 

I said UP TO 6 more years

+1 vote
answered Feb 5 by I love Cole Sprouse
I feel ya. Being a girl sucks. But it has its benefits.
+1 vote
answered Feb 5 by crazy_gamer
4 the b-word problem, start wearing a sports bra, it stops um from moving around too much
+1 vote
answered Feb 3 by Panda
Hey Girl! I don't know if this helps, but I am 13 and STILL haven't gotten my period yet. All of my friends are like

"Trust me, you don't want it"

or

"Its terrible! You're so lucky"

And that just makes me flat out scared. I really want it, just so I can fit in, or when all the other girls complain about it, I can say "Oh that's the WORST!" at least!

So yes, its totally normal to feel that way

 

about the breast bud thing...

ITS TERRIBLE! I've been there, hang on! You'll get outta this soon!

 

CRUSHES!

Hear me when I say this..

IT IS SUPER NORMAL TO HAVE CRUSHES!

Don't try to stop the feeling, it is so normal!

One of my BFFs had her first crush at 3!

HOWEVER

I will say that having a "boyfriend" at 10 is wayyyyyyy too soon. I personally would wait until 15--16 ish, when he could drive me to a date, cause your parents driving you is a little weird.

 

So ya!

 

I feel you.

 

hope this helped!

 

-Panda
commented Feb 5 by anonymous
trust me, girl. u dont want it. honest.
+1 vote
answered Dec 20, 2020 by ~Purple~ (32,680 points)
Alright! First of all, I TOTALLY get where you're coming from with the periods. I haven't gotten mine yet, so I feel you. Periods are pretty complicated. Everyone DOES grow at their own pace, so if your friends are pressuring you about it, or making fun of you, just tell them you don't care, then maybe hang out with someone else. GHope this helps! <3
+2 votes
answered Dec 20, 2020 by -GEMHeart- (290,300 points)
DOnt feel scared or anything. Breasts r normal and natural. About the babies thing, I wouldn’t consider having any. If you have questions about “making” them, ask your parents and they will decide if they should say. Anyway! Answers to your questions,

1. IDK what stage I’m in, I’m 16 and still look 12. I think I’m in stage 3/4 IDK. And YEA I remember that pain. Still gets that way in the week before your period too, so watch out for that.

2. Don’t worry. Once you get it you’ll be like, “oh well”. I understand your view tho lol

3. Ask ur parents o.o

4. Girl.... I had my first crush in kindergarten... mood swings r normal lol.
commented Feb 5 by crazy_gamer
ive never had a crush, dont wanna get married anyway
+2 votes
answered Dec 17, 2020 by anonymous

I am 10 too and I haven't got my periodrock l literally no one has started

commented Jan 8 by girls things
me too i realy want my perieod is that normal ??    i will be realy exited  is that normal ?
+1 vote
answered Nov 20, 2020 by Potterheadgirl75

I’m a few years older than you so I understand.

  1. Oh, that is super annoying!
  2. Don’t worry too much.
  3. Idk what to say
  4. I’ve never had a crush before, but it’s okay to have a crush at the age of ten.
+1 vote
answered Oct 27, 2020 by #leslie loves lemurs#
its okay to feel like that im 13 and about to be 14 ive been through all that i got my period when i was 9 and a half it was way harder for me. so dont sweat it litterly.wear deoderant .my name is leslie  so byye have FUN!jkjkjk

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