*hugs* I understand your pain, I really do. My dog Chelsea died in August, I had had Chelsea since I was 1 year old, I never knew a time without her. She died from something called pyometra, and while we could tell she was in pain while we brought her to the vet, she never gave even a whimper. That was and is one of the hardest things to go through, and at least for me, I had the knowledge that she could pass on at any time, with cars, you don't get that heads up. I do want to let you know that the pain will eventually pass, but still pay attention to your emotions and let yourself grieve. I still miss Chelsea, but I kind of feel like her soul is a part of me now, and I can live on. But losing a dog can be one of the worst feelings in the world. I cried so much that night that I made myself sick (literally, was sick for a week after that). I couldn't breathe either. But dogs' main want in their lives is to keep their humans happy, let yourself grieve, but remember that your dog wouldn't want you to be sad forever. It's not your fault. You said that just yesterday he seemed like a part of you. He still is, you just can't see him, but trust me, he's still there. Your dog looks really cute, what was his name?