Okay, this was a tough one, and I have honestly been thinking about your post multiple times throughout the day! I do not know if this will work, but it was my best guess! Could you hum or sing? You like music, and it helps calm you down, so why not sing? You could also purchase an MP3 player- you can download music onto it, it's very cheap, and they are usually super tiny! You can just jam it in your pocket! Hope that helps! Best of luck!