KidzTalk - Recent questions tagged #fictional

Chapters 5 and 6

Sun, 07 Sep 2025 21:18:02 +0000

~Chapter 5~

~Professor Sadberry~

“Okay, everybody pick a bed. This class is pretty much all about sleeping. Directions on the board. I’ll get you in groups of three. So, Elisia, Reina, and Sasha. Adeline, Kate, and.. Desiree..” The list went on and on. When it finally ended, they could start. In Adeline’s group, Desiree and Adeline were the sleepers and Kate had to manipulate and switch the dreams.

“So, Divine, little Clark is too scared to fight me?” Kate whispered. “No, she’s not. She was helping me around. Like you would do that for someone.” she whispered back. Kate looked shocked. Kate slapped Adeline’s arm so loud the class could hear it. “Who was that?” asked Professor Sadberry. He stood up and walked around, looking at every face, and stopping by Kate, Adeline, and Desiree. Kate started to fake cry dramatically. “Adeline Divine just slapped me!” She lied. “Desiree? Is this true?” he asked. “Oh, goodness, no! She would never!” Desiree said. “Miss Divine, please be a good student and tell me if you slapped Kate or not.” Kate started laughing. “Kate Princesa, detention. After lunch.” he said. “Adeline, see me after class. You are dismissed!” “See you.” Reina said while walking out of the classroom. “Adeline, are you being bullied by Kate and her friends?” he asked. “Yes. Me and my friends have been taunted by her since we started at the academy. She tried to fight Reina, she slapped me, and her whole family hates the Miracles.” she said. “Okay. I will alert her parents about this behaviour. You may go.” said Professor Sadberry.

Adeline rode her wheelchair out of the classroom, down the stairs, and into Star Hall. “Hey Lina!” said Reina. “Hi guys,” Adeline said quietly. “So, Professor Sadberry is talking to the Princesa’s parents about.. them.” she said. “Okay, that’s pretty good!” said Reina. “Well.. what if they hate us even more because they think we tattled?” asked Elisia worriedly. They all thought for a minute.

“She’s right.” Reina admitted. “I realize that.” Adeline said.

The girls have finally finished their homework and classes for the day. “Ugh.. I’m so bored.” Adeline complained. “Lina, Elisia, I have a great idea!” Reina exclaimed. “Hm?” “Okay, this might be risky but.. we should sneak into the Academy’s abandoned basement. I heard it used to be a library, but it got shut down after a

‘stair incident’ happened. Rumour has it that the books are still down there!” Reina said. “We should! Right after we get Lina’s cast off, we can!” said Elisia. “What do you

think, Lina?” “I think we should!” said Adeline.

“Okay girls! You are all set and ready to go.” the Nurse said. “Thank you!” said Elisia. The girls all ran to the bottom floor. “There’s 40 minutes until curfew.. so we better hurry in!” said Reina. They climbed down a chain ladder into a dark basement. Adeline pulled a flashlight from her skirt pocket and clicked it on. “Good idea.” Elisia’s voice echoed through the empty hall between bookshelves.

There was a door at the end of the hallway with a key on it. “Elisia, can you hand me the spare key?” asked Adeline. Elisia handed it to her. Adeline held it up beside the key on the door. They were the same key. “Guys, I’m gonna go over there..” said Adeline. She walked up to the door and blew the dust off.

She put the key in the keyhole. She turned the key. Boo-boom! The door boomed open. Adeline stepped into the new room, but she accidentally stepped on glass. She looked at the walls and jumped when she saw a mirror. But it wasn’t her reflection. She recognized the reflection, but it wasn’t her. It was Francesca Finchbeak. When she

walked, so did the founder. “Hello?” Adeline's voice echoed through the hall “Adeline Divine?”

Adeline walked up to the mirror. “I’m Adeline Divine, madame.” “Great. Can I speak to you?” asked Professor Finchbeak. “Yes, madame.” Adeline sat in front of the mirror. “I’m gonna say this quickly, as I don’t have much time. I’m your grandmother.

Adeline sat there silently for a second. She wanted to respond, but when she opened her mouth nothing came out. “Which side?” she asked. “Paternel. You see, when I married your grandfather in 1525, I kept Finchbeak. But in the Divine family, you wouldn’t be in the family tree if you kept your maiden name, so that was why nobody remembered me being a Divine’s wife.”

Adeline sat and listened to her grandmother’s story.

After 15 minutes of storytelling, Madame Finchbeak finally said, “Okay, child. No more stories. You go run to Miss Clark and Miracle, okay? Only them about our relation, no one else, alright?” “Yes Grandmother.” Adeline went through the key door and found Elisia and Reina with a tower of books each. “We’ll have to use a teleporting enchantment that I read,” Adeline told them. “Oh my goodness, where in the world were you?” “I was talking to Francesca Finchbeak. She’s my grandmother!” Reina and Elisia gasped.

“Okay, before I tell you everything, let me teleport us to our dorm. Hold my hand.” said Adeline. “Lanuae est dorm!” They all felt like they went on a roller coaster, and when it went down, they fell onto the floor of their dormitory. They all sat on the floor, rubbing their heads. “Wait- where are bo-” Reina was interrupted by the sound of everyone screaming. She didn’t know why, at least, until she looked up. There were books falling from the roof. Thud! “Did anyone get hit?” Adeline asked.

“No.. luckily,” said Reina, quietly. “I did not realize that would happen- I’m so sorry.” Adeline thought for a second, and then said, “So, we were gonna talk about me and Professor Finchbeak?” Reina and Elisia nodded. “So.. she married my grandfather in the 1500’s but kept her last name, Finchbeak. My family, the Divines, won’t put you on their family tree if you keep the maiden name. So.. yeah. That’s our relation.” Adeline explained. “Wow.” Reina looked at her bed. “Can we go to sleep now?” Adeline and Elisia nodded, stood up, and climbed into bed.

It was morning at the Academy, finally. Elisia and Adeline had been awake since three in the morning, and Reina finally woke up, so now they could start their morning routine. They all went to the closet, and grabbed their blue plaid skirts, cardigans, and white dress shirts and they all went to their private dressing rooms.

After they all got dressed, they went into the bathroom to do their hair. Today, Reina got to pick what hairstyle they would like to wear with their blue ribbons. “I think we should do a ponytail today.. At home my mum would do ponytails with my green ribbon.” she said.

Finally, they brushed their teeth and after that, put on their mary janes. And lastly, they pin their hummingbirds on to their cardigans. “Okay guys, we’ll be early for breakfast for once.” Adeline looked directly at Reina, who was normally the reason they were late. “Hey- it’s not always my fault.” She turned red as a tomato.

Reina put her long brunette ponytail on her back. “Our first class today is Spells and Curses, after that is Transformation. Just saying it before I put it in my bag and forget what it is.”

“Oh- Adeline, remind me after Spells and Curses that we need to see her.” Elisia said. “Why not me?” asked Reina. “Reina, you’re the most forgetful person we know.” Elisia told her.

The girls found a seat at the Hummingbird table and menus appeared on the table where they were sitting. Adeline ordered scrambled eggs, English muffins, and bacon, Elisia ordered pancakes, blueberry scones, and sausage, and Reina ordered apple oatmeal, apple fritter, and a sourdough toast with orange marmalade.

After breakfast, the girls started their walk to Spells and Curses. They wanted to get there early, so they left breakfast 5 minutes before anyone else. When they got there, Reina knocked on the door. “Who is it?” said the familiar, cheery voice. “It’s us, Professor.” Adeline said. “Oh, come in!” she said. Reina opened the door for Adeline and Elisia, and then closed the door behind her. “Hello girls! What do you wish to discuss?” said Professor Adland. “We want to talk about the.. object. That you gave us.” Adeline explained. “Ah, the fuasgladh geasa. It’s Scottish Gaelic for ‘solve a spell.’”

“When you tell it a spell, it tells you what to do in the situation that the spell is aimed at you.” she explained. “Watch this-” said Professor Adland. “Morietur dolore!” she watched as the fuasgladh geasa whirred and then spoke, “The Morietur Curse, or Painful Death Curse, is almost undodgeable. The one way is to cast a shrinking enchantment, and then use a force spell, and then grow it bigger than it was when aimed at you.”

Reina looked at it. “Will we learn this in class?” Reina asked. “No. You will learn all of the spells required to dodge it, but not all at once. But, you girls are taking an extra class with me. You see, girls, you are different, in an amazing way. Me, and other staff, see that you all have connections to each other, the founders, and certain classes. Adeline, for example, is Francesca Finchbeak’s granddaughter, and she would be very good in Transformation,” explained Professor Adland.

“H-how do you know that? I do it at home with Diana, but- how do you know?” asked Adeline. “We have a future teller, it tells us about the subject we choose and lets us choose how deep into the future to see.”

“Anyways, let's continue. Your ancestors’ ancestors were alive in about.. 3000 BC. They were celestius. Or celestials. They called themselves neamhail, which is Scottish for celestials. For generations, your ancestors

have waited for 3 girls, the same age, to be celestials together. The last ones who were celestials were Francesca Finchbeak, Marilyn Miracle, and Clementine Clark. Together, they founded this school and waited for their relatives to come.”

The girls were in awe. They didn’t realize they had so much power in their small, youthful hands. Reina, who thought she was no good at anything, looked like she would shatter into pieces if she fell, like a statue.

“My family always tried to hide our relationship to Clementine Clark. They said she was a disrespect.” Reina said, still frozen in her shocked face. “You girls better sit down. Class starts in 2 minutes! Sit together at the grey table in the back, we have a group lesson,” said the Professor.

Reina was still in a frozen pose, but she was daydreaming. The girls figured it was about the celestials. “You know, if you keep your face like that, it’ll stay forever.” Elisia joked. “I think it is frozen.. I can only keep my expression like a dumb shocked advertisement.” Reina said kiddingly.

The girls laughed at Reina’s funny remark as the rest of the hummingbirds flooded into the room.

“Welcome class! We are doing a partner's assignment for the spell, feachd. It is a simple, but powerful force spell that pushes people or things away.”

Professor Adland waves her hands at the board and a piece of chalk wrote. Grab an object from my desk and cast feachd. Once you’ve mastered it, cast it on your partners. Elisia gave a sly grin after the casting it on your partners part.

“Let's get started. Who’s gonna grab the object?” asked Adeline. Reina raised her hand. “I’ll get it.” She walked over to Professor Adland’s desk and grabbed an object that the professor reserved for the girls. It was a fireball, with instructions on how to handle it.

Reina walked back to the girls and handed it to Elisia. “We need to throw it in the air and push it away with feachd.” Reina explained. “Easy enough.” Elisia shrugged. She threw it in the air for Reina to hit with the force spell. “Feachd!” Reina shouted. The fireball was hit with a blue orb and pushed all the way to the other side of the class room. Suddenly, it bounced back to Adeline.

After a little yelp, she shouted, “Feached!” This time, it was pushed away, but then it fell to the ground. “That's weird.” she said. Elisia and Reina agreed. Adeline walked to the other wall and picked up the cold fireball. She walked back and threw the fireball up for Elisia. “Peachd!” she shouted. Instead of it being pushed back, it turned into a peach and fell to the ground. “Um.. oops?” she said.

Reina and Adeline stared at the peach on the ground from Elisia’s attempt. “Sorry.. To be honest, F looks like a P.” Elisia explained, trying hard not to laugh at her hysterical attempt.

The girls now finished the fireball, so now they need to cast the force spell on each other. “Do not turn me into a peach.” Adeline said seriously. The girls giggled and then began their work. Reina goes first. “Feachd! Feachd!” Adeline and Elisia get pushed by a blue orb. “That felt weird. It was like- getting pushed by wind, but it tickled.” Adeline said. Elisia agreed with her statement.

Now Adeline goes next. “Feachd! Feachd!” Again, Elisia and Reina get pushed by the orb. Now Elisia goes. “Okay, ready? Feachd! Feachd!” Reina and Adeline get pushed away. “Thank goodness.” Elisia sighed to herself. The class was released to Transformation right after Spells and Curses. “Isn’t Adeline good at transformation?” asked Reina.

“Yes, but I never did a class. My older sister Diana just got out of the Academy and taught me over the summer. Now she’s working at a Transformation reversal society.” said Adeline. “Do you have an older sibling in the Academy?” asked Elisia. “Oh, yes. I have 5. One is in Kestrel, her name is Aarya. Two are in Falcon. One’s name is Destin. You probably know him, he’s the Falcon president.” said Adeline.

“Then there’s Camilla. She’s in Finch. And there’s Claire in Goshawk, the president of her grade and also running for school treasurer. My oldest sibling here is Clover, Eagle president, former treasurer, and running for school president. She’s my favorite older sibling besides Diana.” Adeline looked in her bag for a hair tie, and then put her long brown hair in an elegant low bun.

Reina looked at the door in front of them. “Tamille Taberes is the Transformation teacher, right?” Elisia and Adeline nodded. The girls leaned on the wall and talked while they waited for the Transformation professor to welcome them in. “So.. Do you have little siblings?” Reina asked. “Two. Lavender and her twin Anise. They’ll be in Hummingbird next year.” said Adeline. “Aww! Those are cute names. I bet they would be good at potion making. They don’t have classes for it here, but Cecilla said they do in the Celestius University of Magic.” Reina said.

“Wait, Celestius? Isn’t that what the celestials are called?” asked Adeline. Before anyone could answer, a siren went off and a loud voice came through the intercom. “Attention students and staff! Professor Samson Sadberry is missing, and the school’s electricity is going down rapidly. Evacuate to the Comfrey courtyard, now.” Adeline, Elisia, and Reina looked at each other with a shocked look on their faces.

They ran down the stairs as fast as they could. They looked behind them and a purple cloaked figure with a masquerade mask was running behind them with a staff aimed at them. “There’s no time. We can’t teleport, or even stop at all!” said Adeline. “Why not?” asked Reina. “The thing behind us is a dolore.” said Adeline.

“Dolore.” said the figure behind them. Reina falls to the ground. “Reina!” Elisia cried. The dolore stopped when Reina fell. When they looked back at it, red eyes glowed from the mask as it vanished into thin air. The lights all turned off and the whole castle was in complete darkness. Adeline and Elisia were able to see a red glowing cross where Reina lay unresponsive. “Reina! Answer me! Are you okay? Reina..?” Elisia asked in a panicked tone. Adeline put her hand on Reina’s chest. “She’s breathing. We need the lights back on.” Adeline opened her hand towards the ceiling where broken light bulbs sway. “Fractis fixum.” A singular bulb lit back up.

And then two. Three. Four. Five. And suddenly, all the bulbs on the first floor lit up. Elisia and Adeline picked up Reina and took her to Comfrey courtyard. They ran with Reina in their arms to Professor MaCoy. “Professor, please, help! Reina was hit with the dolore spell!” Adeline panicked. “Oh my goodness! Don’t worry, once I cast this spell she will be back to normal.” Professor MaCoy. She waved her hands in a quick motion. “Good afternoon, Reina.” said the Headmistress.

“Um- where did the dolore go? Why am I in the arms of Professor MaCoy? And why do I have rapidly decreasing chest pain?” Reina looked crazy for a second, and then calm. “Oh.. the dolore is gone, Professor MaCoy just saved my life, and I have side effects of the dolore reversal spell.” she said. The headmistress, Elisia, Adeline, and Reina all laughed. “I was so scared! I was worried I’d lose one of my best friends. My uncle died from a dolore curse and I didn’t want that to happen to you.” Adeline said with a sad frown.

“Aww.. I thought you weren’t worried at all. You seemed so calm in the situation.” said Elisia. “Well, girls, you better get to class. Everything is back to normal, except for the fact that Samson left. But other than that, it is normal.” said Professor MaCoy. The girls nodded and headed to Transformation. “So, Reina, before this crisis happened, you said something about Cecilla. Who is that?” asked Elisia. “Cecila is my only sibling. She was always the top of her class but I don’t think she has the Celestial blessing. She goes to Celestius University. She only comes home during Christmas. We used to be super close until school broke us apart.” Reina said sadly. “Della, who are all of your older siblings who left the Academy?” asked Elisia.

“Diana just came out of the Academy last year. Then there’s Hope, Graham, Josie, Danielle, and my oldest sibling, Kaylee, who is 23. She sells potions and brews and makes herbal creams and concoctions. She taught me to make potions when I turned 6. She’s also one of my favorites.” said Adeline.

“What about you, Elisia? Any other siblings?” she asked. “I have a baby sister, named Basil. And I have Marise and Selene, but you already know them. I have two older siblings, Bay and Rowan. They’re twins. I haven’t seen them since I was little.” said Elisia. The girls stopped in front of the door to the Transformation classroom.

“Where did they go?” asked Reina. “I don’t know for sure. As soon as they got home from the graduation ceremony a few years ago, they started to pack their bags. They left in the dead of night.” Elisia explained. “Um.. hello girls! Come in.” said a woman’s voice. “The headmistress has planned a private session for you three, as we have learned that you have a Celestius blessing. And also, Professor Adland informed me that Miss Divine has done Transformation before with her talented sister, Diana Divine.” she said. The girls nodded.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you this, but call me Doctor Taberes or just Doctor or Doc. Mrs. Taberes is also acceptable.” she said. “Anyways, let's begin. I was requested to teach you spiritus potentia, the Spirit Transformation. It transforms yourself into what your spirit is, with the addition of special powers based off of your spirit.” Dr. Taberes grabbed a wand from her professor’s coat.

She tapped the chalkboard with her wand. The incantation spiritus potentia was written on the board. “Miss Clark, let’s see what you’ve got.” said Miss Taberes encouragingly. Reina took a deep breath. She got her hands in position. “Spiritus potentia!” Reina was in a cloud of fog for a second, but when she stepped out, everyone in the room gasped.

Reina’s brunette hair was in the beautiful green ribbon that she would always talk about. She had a huge sparkling green ball gown, like the ones that princesses wear. On her back were whimsical white bird wings. Reina couldn’t help smiling. “Great job, Miss Clark. Now, Miss Divine. You may cast it.” said Dr, Taberes.

Adeline said the incantation. The cloud of fog surrounded her. She stepped out with her butterscotch colored hair in an elegant French twist with blue ribbon. Her dress was a blue, one-shoulder ball gown. On her back were white bird wings just like Reina’s. Now it was Elisia’s turn. “Ready, Miss Miracle?” asked Dr. Taberes. Elisia nodded.

“Spiritus potentia!” Elisia was in a cloud of fog, and then she stepped out. Her icy blonde hair was in a low bun and tied with red ribbon. Her dress was a red ball gown with long bell sleeves. She had white bird wings just like the others’. “Girls, do you know what this means? Your spiritual transformation has proven you have the Celestial blessing. Congrats!” said Dr. Taberes. The girls smile at each other. “But now, we must reverse it. You see, if someone finds out about this, you will be hunted and killed.” she said. Dr. Taberes waved her hands, as if erasing the Transformation. The girls were put in a cloud of fog and when they stepped out, the spells reversed. “You are excused.” said Dr. Taberes. The girls heard footsteps running away.

They hurried out the door to see who was running. “Kate Princesa.” Elisia said through gritted teeth. “You’re kidding.” said Adeline. Elisia shook her head.

~Chapter 6~

~Kate Problems~

“I swear, no matter what we do, Kate apparently has to know. I’m sure she’ll tell her whole family we’re Celestials and they’ll come kill us and there won’t be Celestials to protect the Enchantment community.” said Adeline frustratedly. Reina and Elisia nodded in agreement.

Elisia sighed. “I wish we could throw her in a hole when she tries to leave for Christmas,” “Christmas is coming up soon..” said Reina. “I know, but we wouldn’t actually do that to her.. Would we?” said Adeline. “Mayb-” Elisia began before being interrupted by Reina and Adeline saying, “NO!” “I was gonna say maybe we could try to talk to the Ancestors.. They’d know what to do.” said Elisia. “Good idea. Hold my hands. We’re teleporting to Ancestor’s Athenaeum.” said Adeline.

As she said the incantation, Reina and Elisia heard more footsteps. As soon as they were gonna tell her, they felt the roller coaster sensation and they were in the Athenaeum. They walked down the hall that Adeline went down to meet Madame Finchbeak. This time, there were three mirrors instead of one. The first mirror asked, “Adeline Divine?” Adeline nodded, and Francesca Finchbeak appeared.

The second mirror asked, “Reina Clark?” she nodded and Clementine Clark appeared. The third mirror asked, “Elisia Miracle?” Elisia nodded and Marilyn Miracle appeared. “Hello, girls! Nice to finally meet you!” said Madam Finchbeak. Reina and Elisia smiled at her and then Elisia said, “It's nice to meet you, too. But we have a big problem.” “What could that be, my dear?” asked Miss Miracle. “Do you perhaps know a person with the surname.. Princesa?” asked Elisia. “Oh dear. Yes, we do.. They were the cause of our death, for goodness sakes!” said Lady Clark angrily.

Lady Clark touched a disc in her reflection. Suddenly, the three were brought into a watery looking place the girls recognized as a school, for non-magical people. Back when the Ancestors were kids, the Enchanted and magic families had to hide their identities.

“Clem, I doubt they would know. The Princesas would never find out. We only.. change when we’re not around anyone, like at my house. They probably forgot that neamhails even existed.” said young Madam Finchbeak. “Cesca, they are magic too, and their parents literally have taxidermy neamhail heads!” said young Lady Clark. Young Miss Miracle agreed with Lady Clark. Suddenly, the room went into a ripple state again.

The girls were welcomed to yelling from Phoenix Princesa and the Ancestors running. Lady Clark fell to the ground, unconscious. Then Miss Miracle, and then Madam Finchbeak. Then water walls dissolved into the wooden ground. “I see.” said Adeline. “So, the problem we have is the Princesa’s daughter Kate knows we are Celestials.” said Elisia. Miss Miracle held her hand out of the mirror. She dropped a small item in Elisia’s hand.

“That object, a clease e, is a mind tricker. When you see her in the hall, aim it at her head. It shouldn’t cause a scene.” she said. “Thank you, Grandma Mari.” said Elisia. Miss Miracle smiled. “Okay girls, you’d better get going,” said Lady Clark. “Bye, Grandma Clem..” said Reina. “Bye, Mama Cesca.” said Adeline with a smile. Adeline held the girls’ hands and used her teleporting spell. The girls landed in their dorms.

“Let’s go look for.. Paint.” said Elisia. The girls agreed. They walked out of their dorm, but felt something bump when they opened the door. “Ouch.” said a familiar, bratty voice. Elisia grabbed the object and aimed it at the girl struggling to get up and run. The sound of electricity rang through the hall. Kate was shaking on the floor with her crazy electrocuted hair.

The girls didn’t realize she faked it. Kate stood up. “Stupid rats. Thought I’d fall for it? This trick was played on my family many, many times. I know how to resist.” said Kate. She removed her cardigan to reveal a black, magic clothing item called an electric absorber.

Kate pulled a crystal wand from her cardigan pocket. “First and last duel you’ll have, are you ready?” she asked in an intimidating voice. Above them, 3 different wands with wings were slowly falling down. A green wand made of diamond and vines inside for Reina, a blue sapphire wand with clouds inside of it for Adeline, and a ruby one with fire inside for Elisia.

The girls got in position, ready to fight. At least, until Professor Adland came out. “KATE PRINCESA! Your parents told you NOT to get in trouble with the Neamhails. GET!” she scolded. She ran over to the Celestials. “Girls, are you okay?” she asked. “Yes ma'am,” said Adeline. “Don’t get in trouble with Princesas. They will hunt you down.” said Professor Adland cautiously.

The girls ran to their dorm and got into an outfit suitable for exploring the surroundings of the Academy. Adeline wore a white t-shirt and blue jeans with boots, Elisia wore a sun dress with long boots, and Reina wore a princess vest with black cargo pants with a pair of combat boots. Adeline held everyone's hand and teleported to the entrance.

The girls ran out of the school into the surrounding forest. “We need to get something here. For a potion. We need.. St. John’s Wort, kava, and piperine. We’re basically making a forget about it potion.” said Adeline, slightly rushed. Elisia headed towards the field that Selene told her the school chefs used to get black pepper, for their homemade pepper. “I’m going to the pepper field. Piperine is in the pepper, we’ll just extract it.” she yelled back to her friends.

She grabbed the vine of black pepper. The little vines of it reminded Elisia of at Willowbrook, they would have fruit harvesting, and the grape vines looked just like the pepper vines. Elisia held it up to show the girls. They gave her a thumbs up and Elisia came running back. “Adeline Transformed this rock into a basket. You can put the pepper in there.” Reina said. Elisia gently put the pepper in the weaved basket. “Cecila told me a rumor about where students would take kava for obnoxious potions. I’ll get some.” said Reina.

She found the kava plants around a big oak tree that Cecila told her about. “How much would we need? Three? Four? I’ll just get three.” Reina said to herself. She plucked three leaves from the kava plant. She walked towards where Reina and Adeline were and dropped the kava leaves in the basket. “Now, last but not least, we need to grab the St. John’s Wort. I know where some is, I’ll go grab it.” said Adeline. Reina and Elisia sat down by the basket. “So.. Reina. Is that how you normally dress?” asked Elisia.

“Um, mostly. I kinda only wear jeans and cargo pants. My shirts are mostly these princess vests, halter tops, and t-shirts. What about you?” asked Reina. “I wear these sundresses and the shirts I wear are halters and t-shirts. Pants, I just wear jeans. Straight jeans.” Elisia said. “Got some! We can finally do something to stop Kate.” said Adeline happily. The girls walked up the earthy hill beside the big pines.

They found the concrete sidewalk with the black metal fence, and shimmied through the metal rods. “Adeline, what do you wear at home?” asked Elisia. “All of the girls in my family wear any kind of top and we only wear denim pants, like jeans. And boots. Long boots.” said Adeline.

Suddenly, Adeline grabbed their hands and did the teleportation spell. The girls fell into the dorm. “What was that for?” asked Elisia, standing up and rubbing her leg. “Kate was behind a tree. Lucky for us, she doesn’t know stuff about potions. Her family isn’t allowed to.” said Adeline. “So.. how are we going to give it to her?” asked Reina.

“I was thinking we could give her a water bottle, with the water..” she winked. “..and give it to her with an apology note.” Adeline winked again. “Let's get brewing. Reina, get a pot of boiling water on the stove. Elisia, use flamma arida on the herbs. Got it?” said Adeline. Elisia and Reina nodded. In a flash, the herbs dried and Elisia handed them to Adeline.

“Thank you, now I’ll get to chop- wait, where's Reina?” asked Adeline. She looked at the pot. It was overboiling. “AH! The water!” Adeline and Elisia ran to the pot. “OH NOO! It. Is. EVERYWHERE!!” Elisia panicked. Reina walked back into the kitchen in a calm manner. At least, until she saw the pot.

“Uh oh. I was in the bathroom. My mom told me to prevent overboiling, you put a spoon on the pot. It didn’t work.” said Reina apologetically. “Reina. That’s for wooden spoons. This is a metal spoon.” said Adeline. “I didn’t kno-” “It’s fine. Your mother just didn’t tell you to use a wooden spoon.” interrupted Adeline.

Elisia sighed. But she turned around. The overboiled water was infinitely erupting from the pot. It rose above her, and then fell to the floor, and did that forever. “What do we do about- this.” said Elisia as she turned back around. “Start cleaning the floor, I’ll deal with this volcano. It’s my fault, so it’s my job.” admitted Reina.

Adeline and Elisia ran to their laundry room to get towels. Meanwhile, Reina was attempting to take the pot off of the stove. “I’m doomed.” she said to herself. Slowly, Reina grabbed the pot handles. Fizz.. Woosh! The pot erupted again. “Now’s my chance..” Reina whispered. This time, she quickly grabbed the handles and removed the pot from the stove.

She heard a slowing fizz, which told her that the eruption was over. Reina sat up on the counter and waited for Elisia and Adeline to come back. “Okay, we finally got one!” said Adeline. Elisia and Adeline began wiping the floors of water, while Reina ate an apple on the counter.

Reina decided to explore the dormitory, as she’s never really been able to. She hopped off of the counter and threw her apple core into the trash. “I’m going in our room,” Reina said on the way out. She walked through the kitchen, then through the pantry, and then she was in the bedroom. She looked under the beds.

“What is this?” she grabbed a tiny, stuffed animal type thing under her bed. “It looks like Kate. Wait- is this a voodoo doll?” she murmured to herself. Reina picked it up, and went back to the kitchen. “Guys, I just found a voodoo doll of Kate under my bed!”

“Voodoo? That’s weird,” Adeline commented while grinding pepper. “Let me see,” said Elisia. Reina handed the voodoo doll to her. “Certainly does look like Kate. Should we try it?” asked Elisia mischievously. “Should we?” said Reina and Adeline echoed simultaneously.

“Probably only if this ‘water’ doesn’t work,” said Adeline. “Deal,” said Reina. Adeline set down the herb grater and walked to the cabinet to grab a cutting board. “Elisia, you done with the kava?” asked Adeline. Elisia nodded. “‘Kay, now I need to get to chopping my least favorite thing to chop: St. John’s Wort.” Adeline said in a disgusted tone.

“Reina, boil water, but use a wooden spoon, okay?” instructed Adeline. “Aight.” she replied. Reina grabbed a pot from under the stove and filled it with water. “Turn it to eight this time, not high.” said Adeline. Reina turned the knob on the stove to eight, and then she put the pot down. “Now put the wooden spoon on top.” Adeline said, slightly annoyed for the fact she had to teach her to boil water.

Adeline sighed calmly. “Yes! Finally finished this SJW.” “Good job,” said Elisia. “But what is SJW?” she asked. “It’s short for St. John’s Wort.” Adeline said, annoyed once again. “We should go sit in the bedroom. You seem a bit tense.” said Reina, as if Adeline were about to blow up. “Good idea,” said Adeline.

The girls walked through the pantry, and then opened the door to the bedroom. Adeline spread out her arms and fell backwards onto her comfortable waterbed. “What I love about this bed is how it changes to your needs. Like now. I need a comfy bed to chill on, and this is perfect.” said Adeline.

“Agreed. In the middle of the night when you can’t sleep, it turns into the most comfortable thing you’ve ever laid your body on.” said Elisia. “And when you need a comfortable position to read in!” said Reina.

Fizz… “Oh, I hear the water boiling! Let’s go.” she said. They walked back into the kitchen. “Elisia, carefully put the kava in.” Adeline instructed calmly. Elisia picked up her cutting board and walked over to the pot of boiling water. Plop! The chopped up kava fell into the pot. Then, Adeline walked over to the pot with her two cutting boards. Plip! The pepper fell into the water.

Then Adeline picked up the cutting board with St. John’s Wort on it and carefully sprinkled it into the pot. She carefully picked up the pot and set it on the counter. She grabbed the wooden spoon that sat on top of the pot, and stirred the potion. The potion began to bubble, and Adeline put the lid on.

"This needs to sit until the bubbling stops. In the meantime, we'll need a container – perhaps a water bottle," Adeline stated professionally, her gaze fixed on the concoction.

"I have a tumbler somewhere; I'll fetch it," Elisia offered, already turning to leave. Plop pop pop... The potion's bubbles burst with a finality that signaled its readiness. "It's ready now. I'll keep stirring until Elisia returns," Adeline murmured, picking up a spoon.

Meanwhile, Elisia fumbled through her suitcase, her fingers brushing past clothes and toiletries in search of her tumbler. "Ah, there it is!" she exclaimed, a small smile touching her lips as she finally grasped the familiar pink handle. With a gentle tug, the tumbler emerged, and Elisia carefully inspected its interior and exterior, ensuring not a single blemish was on its clean surface.

Satisfied, she zipped her suitcase shut, pushed herself gracefully from the floor, and rolled the case silently back into the closet's shadows. Elisia then moved with purpose, stepping through the pantry door and into the warm, cozy glow of the kitchen. There, she discovered Adeline intently stirring a bubbling potion, while Reina, perched casually on the counter, savored a ripe, juicy peach. “Finally,” said Reina in a sigh. “Hey, don’t pretend you didn’t pack all of your belongings.” Elisia snapped back. Reina pursed her lips and continued eating her peach.

Elisia walked to the cooker where Adeline stood and gently set the pink tumbler next to her. “Thank you, now to pour the potion in.” Adeline touched her lips and stopped to think for a moment. “It’s gonna be hard to pour it out of the pot without spilling it,” she mumbled to herself. “So we’ll use a soup spoon.” She reached to the cup of utensils and pulled out the soup spoon.

“Reina, why do you always sit on the counter and eat fruits?” asked Elisia curiously. Reina turned red with embarrassment. “Did she just call me fat?” Reina thought. “No offense.” Elisia quickly added. “Uh, it's just a habit I picked up at home when my mum makes food.” she explained. Elisia nodded with understanding. “I have a habit of looking for my mom. It’s kind of funny how I’ve been here for a week or two, and I look for my mum in the kitchen. Luckily, I don’t yell out her name.” Elisia said with a smile playing on her lips.

“Alrighty, just finished pouring this potion in, so now for the note. Who’s writing?” asked Adeline. “I’ll do it!” Reina exclaimed. She ran through the pantry into the bedroom. She sat at one of the three desks on the wall. She opened a drawer, grabbed a pen and paper, and she began to think about what she would write. Her pen twirled between her fingers and her lips were puckered. Her eyes scanned the room, yearning for inspiration. “Oh!” she said suddenly, with a spark of creativity in her voice.

She began quickly writing down some words, and then she looked up at the roof, her eyes looking for more inspiration. The spark lit again, and she wrote the last of the words for the note. She patted her shoulder, as if saying good job to herself. Reina picked up the paper and ran back into the kitchen to Elisia and Adeline. “Finished!” she exclaimed, making Adeline and Elisia jump. “Scared me,” Adeline said, smiling. “Scared me too, but I have a question. How are you finished?” Elisia asked with her eyes widened in confusion.

“I just have a knack for writing, I guess.” Reina attempted to explain. “By the way, Lina, here’s the note you needed.” Reina added and gave it to Adeline. “Oh, thanks. Who’s ready?” she asked. “We are!” shouted Elisia and Reina.

“Let’s go!” said Adeline with a grin on her face. They ran into the nook, and out of the dormitory’s door. “The dorm number is 145, and ours is 121 so down the hall to the right.” Adeline murmured to herself. From her cardigan pocket, she pulled out a misty rope and quickly tied it around her, Elisia, and Reina.

“What in the world is this for?” Reina exclaimed.

“It’s a Latuit rope,” Adeline explained. “For turning us invisible. You can watch yourself turn to mist, if you want.”

Elisia and Reina looked down, their feet already gone, replaced by the swirling mist. Adeline couldn’t help but laugh at their stunned reactions. Elisia and Reina exchanged wide-eyed glances, their mouths opened in shock, and their brows furrowed in confusion. “Why are you laughing?” It’s not funny!” protested Reina, her voice laced in panic.

“Our legs are missing, and they might not come back!” Reina’s outburst only made Adeline laugh harder. “When I untie it, our legs, and the rest of our body, will return.” Adeline managed to say through giggles. Reina’s face flushed with embarrassment. “My sister did this to me once,” Adeline confessed. “And I had the exact same reaction.” Reina then chuckled at her own childish fear, realizing her legs would indeed return. As she looked down again, her whole body was a shimmering mist.

Elisia looked at the door numbers for Kate’s dormitory, number 145. 134, 135, 136.. Elisia thought to herself. 140, 141, 142, 143, 144.. “145!” she exclaimed aloud. Adeline put the bottle and note on her doormat. “I know she’ll drink it. Her family isn’t allowed to even know what potions are.” she said. “Uh, we’ve been kind of loud- can they hear us?” asked Elisia. “Of course not! This is practically a barrier. No one can hear or see us.” explained Adeline. Elisia sighed with relief.

Adeline carefully untied the rope that was around them. “Let’s go, before they come out.” Adeline whispered. They silently ran back to dormitory 121. “Curfew in an hour, what should we do until then?” asked Reina. “We could visit the Ancestors,” said Adeline. “Good idea,” said Elisia. “We should, we need to tell them everything that happened.” said Reina, with her hand in Adeline’s, ready to go.

With the words of the teleportation spell, they were on their way to the Athenaeum. Woosh! The rollercoaster was going down, and they hopped off into the old library. “Welcome girls,” said Lady Clark. “What brings you here?” The girls brought themselves to the floor in front of each of their ancestors. “We have bad news. The thing that Miss Miracle gave us didn’t work. Her family has dealt with it before, so she prepared herself.” explained Reina, speaking to all of the Ancestors for the first time.

“What happened afterwards?” asked Miss Miracle, her voice sounding worried. “She challenged us to a duel. Out of nowhere, these three wands fell with grace into each of our hands.” Adeline said poetically. The girls all pulled the wands from the duel from their cardigan pockets. “Those look like the ones that we had, but we found them on our bedside table,” said Madam Finchbeak.

“How did the duel end?” asked Miss Miracle. “It didn’t even start. Professor Adland scolded her and asked if we were okay.” said Elisia. “How are you going to deal with her?” asked Lady Clark. “We already did,” said Reina. “Yeah, so, did you know the Princesas don’t know that potions exist?” Elisia quizzed. “Really?” asked Miss Miracle. The girls all nodded at once. “We made a potion.” said Reina. “A forgetting potion.” Adeline corrected.

“Where did you learn that?” asked the shocked Madam Finchbeak. “In your potion recipe book, the one that we took from in here.” Adeline replied. “Ah.” Reina checked her watch. 7:54.. Oh! Curfew! Reina thought. “Guys, it’s time for bed in 6 minutes. We should get going,” Reina said. “Oh, yeah! Bye, uh, Miss Miracle, Lady Clark, and Madam Finchbeak.” said Elisia awkwardly. “Bye guys!” said Adeline. “Bye, ladies…” said Reina, quietly.

The Ancestors waved goodbye to the Celestials until they teleported to the dormitory. The girls were back on the rollercoaster, going up, and then falling into the dormitory. Thud! “Ouch. Why does it always hurt?” Reina said angrily while rubbing her back. “Maybe I need to make my own incantation. Let’s try this-” Adeline grabbed their hands “Lanuae mollter!” The girls teleported, with the rollercoaster sensation, and fell softly onto the wooden floor. “That’s a huge improvement.” said Reina, approvingly. Elisia nodded in agreement.

“You're welcome. Thank goodness I know Latin.” Adeline said with a small laugh and a smile. “Oh! Bedtime. Forgot.” said Adeline. “Oh yeah!” The girls ran through the kitchen and pantry, and into their spacious bedroom. They changed into their pajamas, and walked into their personal library to pick a book each, and went to bed. Their beds automatically changed to water beds, and they fell asleep instantly.

Funny Story of the Week #13 | 9/5/25.

Sat, 06 Sep 2025 00:44:58 +0000

Fictional/Made-up
__________________________________________________________________________
It was art class, which usually meant chaos disguised as “creativity.” Everyone had paint, glue, and scissors… a terrifying combo.

Everything was going smoothly—until Oliver decided his clay sculpture was “boring” and needed “special effects.”

So he grabbed a straw.
And started blowing bubbles into his paint cup.

At first, it just made colorful foam. Everyone thought it was kinda funny. But then Oliver, with the confidence of someone who clearly never thinks ahead, blew SO hard that paint exploded out of the cup like a volcano.

SPLAT.

Blue paint on the table.
Green paint on the wall.
Yellow paint… on Mr. Clark’s bald head.

The entire class went dead silent.

Mr. Clark slowly wiped a drip of neon yellow sliding down his forehead. He looked exactly like a highlighter.

“Oliver…” he said in the calmest, scariest teacher voice, “why.”

Oliver, covered in rainbow splatters, shrugged. “Abstract art?”

Half the class lost it, laughing so hard they nearly fell out of their chairs. Mr. Clark sighed, muttered something about “retiring early,” and sent Oliver to the sink with about fifty paper towels.

The wall still has a mysterious green blotch no one ever cleaned off. Some kids say it looks like a dinosaur.

Funny Story of the Week #12 | 8/30/25

Sat, 30 Aug 2025 16:58:04 +0000

Side Note: Hey y'all! I'm continuing the Funny Story of the Week posts! Haven't done one since May... I needed a Summer Break. But, now... The reopening!!!

Fictional/Made-up
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You know how in gym class, the teacher always makes you do those “teamwork” activities where everyone has to work together? Yeah. This was one of those days.

Mr. Henson brought out this HUGE rainbow-colored parachute. You know, the one where everyone grabs the edge and you all flap it up and down like maniacs.

It started out normal—everyone flapping, laughing, and ducking under when the parachute made a dome. Then Eli got an idea. The dangerous kind.

“Guys,” he whispered, “let’s put Timothy in the middle and launch him.”

Before anyone could stop it, Timothy—who is about the size of a fun-sized candy bar—was crouched in the middle, looking like he was about to be sacrificed to the parachute gods.

“ONE! TWO! THREE!” everyone yelled.

The parachute went WHOOOOSH.

Timothy went FLYING.

I’m talking airborne. Like, dude actually caught wind and almost touched the ceiling basketball hoop. His shoe even flew off mid-flight and smacked poor Hannah in the face.

Everyone was screaming, half in horror, half in laughter. Timothy landed in a pile of gym mats like a victorious skydiver, arms raised, yelling:

“I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYY!”

Mr. Henson blew his whistle so hard it sounded like a fire alarm. The parachute was immediately rolled up and shoved back into storage, probably forever.

And Timothy? He strutted around the rest of the day like he was the first human to ever discover flight.

Funny Story of the Week #11 | 5/29/25

Fri, 30 May 2025 02:58:42 +0000

Fictional/Made-up
______________________________________________________________________
It all started with a banana.

Specifically, Tammy’s banana, which she brought to lunch in a glittery neon lunchbox that looked like it belonged to a disco ball.

Now, Tammy wasn’t planning to eat the banana. Oh no. She had named it "Sir Bananasworth" and gave him googly eyes. It was more pet than snack.

“Respect the potassium prince,” she told everyone.

Everything was fine until Lenny—who had the chaotic energy of a squirrel on five sodas—decided he wanted to make “fruit salad history.” He yanked a kiwi from his lunchbox, dramatically placed it next to Sir Bananasworth, and announced:

“WE WED THESE FRUITS IN PEACE AND JUICINESS.”

Tammy screamed. “NOOO! YOU CAN’T MARRY HIM OFF WITHOUT HIS CONSENT!”

Chaos. Full. Bananas.

People started throwing food into the “fruit wedding.” Someone launched grapes. Someone else sacrificed a Lunchable. Someone (we’re not naming names but it was probably Mya) flung a whole orange like it was a dodgeball.

Tammy dove for Sir Bananasworth to protect him, but slipped on a rogue grape and landed face-first into someone’s applesauce. Lenny screamed “IT’S A FRUIT FIGHT!” and started dual-wielding celery sticks like lightsabers.

An aide walked in just in time to get pelted with a rogue cherry tomato.

Everything stopped.

The lunchroom went silent except for the soft plop of a pudding cup sliding off the edge of a table.

No one spoke.

Until the aide said, “...who started this?”

Everyone pointed at Sir Bananasworth.

And that’s how Tammy’s lunchbox banana was blamed for starting the Great Cafeteria Food War of 5th Period.

Sir Bananasworth was confiscated and last seen on top of the lost-and-found table.

With one googly eye still hanging on.

Funny Story of the Week #10 | 5/22/25

Thu, 22 May 2025 14:56:19 +0000

Fictional/Made-up
______________________________________________________________________
It was supposed to be a peaceful, quiet library day. You know—reading, silence, soft breathing, maybe a sneeze here or there, and one very squeaky swivel chair that everyone pretended to ignore.

But that dream shattered the second Nolan strutted in.

He marched up to the group table, slammed his backpack down like he was entering a wrestling match, and announced in the most dramatic whisper ever:

“Ladies and gentlemen… I have arrived. With the snack of champions.”

Everyone stared.

With a flourish, Nolan unzipped his backpack—and pulled out a TUB. Not a container. Not a bag. A full-on, industrial-sized, glow-in-the-dark-orange, family-meant-to-last-until-next-year tub of cheese balls.

“Bro,” Priya whispered like she was begging for mercy, “this is a LIBRARY.”

Nolan smirked. “Not anymore.”

He popped the lid off with a sound so loud and violent it echoed like a thunderclap in the sacred silence of the library. Every head turned. Books were lowered. A dude in the corner gasped.

Nolan whispered to Ava, “Cheese ball?” and tilted the tub like it was treasure.

She reached in.

And sneezed.

Directly into the tub.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Nolan shrieked like a knight watching his castle fall.

The sneeze must’ve awakened the spirits of snack chaos because suddenly—cheese balls ERUPTED.

They flew through the air in glorious, greasy arcs—bouncing off shelves, rolling under tables, bonking unsuspecting heads. One flew so perfectly it landed on Mrs. Holcroft the librarian’s desk like it was delivering a message.

She slowly stood, picked it up between her fingers like it was radioactive, and asked in the most librarian voice ever:
“Who. Threw. This?”

Nolan, glowing in a fine layer of cheese dust like a warrior who had lost the snack battle, stood up dramatically.

“It was me,” he said. “And I’d do it again.”

He was immediately, permanently banned from bringing snacks into the library. The cheese ball tub was taken away. Some say it was never seen again. Others believe it's locked in a vault next to the school laminator.

Now, anytime someone even mentions cheese balls, people go quiet.
Because they remember.

They remember… The Great Cheddar Catastrophe.

Funny Story of the Week #9 | 5/14/25

Wed, 14 May 2025 23:50:10 +0000

Fictional/Made-up
______________________________________________________________________
It was the day of the big science presentations. Everyone had weird poster boards with things like “Do Plants Like Music?” and “What Happens When You Microwave Marshmallows?” (Spoiler: chaos).

But Maxine—oh no, Maxine had something totally different.

Her project was titled: "The Magical World of Mold."

Yeah. Mold.

She had brought in six slices of bread in ziplock bags, all in different stages of becoming science experiments no one asked for. One was green. One was black. One looked like it might be plotting something.

Maxine stood up confidently and announced, “I cultured these myself.”

Someone in the back gagged.

“Each slice was placed in a different condition,” she explained. “This one was kept in the sun. This one was in my locker. And this one…” she paused dramatically, “was under my bed for three weeks.”

The room went SILENT.

“MAXINE, WHY?!” someone screamed.

She smiled proudly. “For science.”

But then—disaster.

As Maxine lifted the “locker mold” bag to show it off, the ziplock burst open. A puff of green-ish fuzz floated into the air like some evil fairy dust. Everyone SCREAMED. Chairs fell. A kid dove under a table.

Maxine stood there frozen, holding the empty bag.

“My mold... is free now,” she whispered.

Needless to say, the rest of the science fair was canceled, and the classroom windows stayed open for the rest of the week.

Maxine got an A+.

And the school got a very strong new air freshener.

Funny Story of the Week #8 | 4/7/25

Wed, 07 May 2025 15:25:01 +0000

Fictional/Made-Up
______________________________________________________________________
It was indoor recess, and chaos was in full swing. Kids were building questionable Lego towers, others were yelling about Uno rules, and a couple of people were sword-fighting with pencils. Just your average day.

Meanwhile, three friends—Lyla, Jace, and Bella—decided to play charades. Sounds normal, right? Wrong. It got way too real, way too fast.

Jace got the first card. It said “Tornado.” Easy peasy. He spun around like a lunatic and knocked over an entire box of crayons. Nailed it.

Then it was Lyla’s turn. Her card said “Chicken.” She started flapping her arms and clucking like she actually believed she was a chicken. People stopped what they were doing just to stare.

But then… came Bella.

Her card?

“Worm.”

Instead of just wiggling a bit and calling it a day, she legit face-planted on the rug and started inching around like a real worm. On her belly. In front of everyone. And she was COMMITTED.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” someone yelled.

“SHHH! SHE’S A WORM!” Lyla whispered dramatically.

Bella looked up from the floor, hair all static-y, and said proudly, “I AM THE EARTH CRAWLER.”

A teacher walked over. Looked down. Blinked.

“…You good?”

Bella replied, “Worms don’t talk,” and slithered away.

The class was howling. Lyla fell over laughing. Jace looked like he was going to pass out from trying not to scream-laugh.

The game ended early because the teacher said, “We’re clearly too into this,” but Bella? She stayed worm-mode until the bell rang.

It was official: charades would never be the same again.

Funny Story of the Week #7 | 4/30/25

Thu, 01 May 2025 00:55:27 +0000

Fictional/Made-Up
______________________________________________________________________

So, picture this: three kids — Mia, Bella, and Noah — are chilling outside after lunch, minding their own business... when disaster strikes.

Mia suddenly goes, "OMG GUYSSSSS, I JUST SWALLOWED A BUG!!!"
She’s gagging and flailing around like she’s being attacked by an invisible ninja.

Bella starts SCREAM-LAUGHING so hard she nearly falls off the bench.
Noah is just standing there, holding his juice box, looking like .
(He’s the human version of the buffering symbol.)

They stared at each other for a solid 5 seconds, completely frozen, until the juice box let out a tiny "pffffft" — like it was giving up on life.

Mia’s running around, yelling, "AM I GONNA DIE?! AM I GONNA TURN INTO A BUG?!"

Bella, WHEEZING, says, "No dummy, but maybe you'll start buzzing."

Then Noah, COMPLETELY DEADPAN, says, "You’re halfway to becoming a mosquito. I give it two days."

Mia SCREAMS even louder and karate-chops the air like she’s fighting the transformation.

Bella’s laughing so hard now she SNORTS like a pig.
Which only made Mia scream louder.
Which only made Bella snort louder.
Which only made Noah sip his juice even slower.

At that point, a teacher walked by, gave them a weird side-eye, shook their head like "I don’t get paid enough for this," and just kept walking.

Mia spent the rest of recess convinced she was growing antennae.
(Plot twist: she wasn’t.)

horrible story part 2

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 22:56:45 +0000

after ted drank the soda, he started turning into a buff crocodile bomber plane, and became italian and started terrorizing millions of people. more at 7

a horrible story

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 20:39:49 +0000

ted the elephant was an elephant. he did elephant things. he drank water, he ate food, he advocated for free speech, all that stuff. but then one day... he drank soda. more at 11

Funny Story of the Week #6 | 4/25/25

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 18:47:21 +0000

Fictional/Made-up
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Sorry I haven't made any Funny Stories in a while, but we just have a ton of end-of-the-year testing nowadays, like all schools. I've finally found some time to post a new story!
______________________________________________________________________
It was a normal lunch. Or at least… it started normal.

Mia, Brooke, and Zoey were sitting at their usual table, happily munching on snacks and talking about completely random things—like whether squirrels have birthday parties or not. (Spoiler: Mia says yes. With tiny hats.)

Brooke had a juice box. An innocent-looking, totally normal grape juice box.

Until…

SLURRRRP

“Uhhhh,” Zoey stared. “Brooke, what are you doing?”

Brooke had her straw jammed all the way in, sucking like her life depended on it. Her cheeks were going all puff-squishy and her eyes were WIDE.

“I think it’s broken,” Brooke mumbled around the straw. “No juice is coming out!”

Mia leaned closer. “Try squeezing it a bit.”

Brooke shrugged and gave it a squeeze.

BIG. MISTAKE.

The straw POPPED out with the force of a mini geyser, grape juice SHOOTING out like a cannon.

It hit Zoey.
IN. THE. FACE.

SPLOOSH.

“AAAAHHHHH!” Zoey yelled, standing up with her arms flailing. “MY EYEBALLS!!! I’M GONNA SMELL LIKE GRAPE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!”

Brooke froze. Juice still dripping off her hands. “Oops?”

Mia was dying laughing. She almost fell off the bench. “Brooke, you turned Zoey into a JUICE MONSTER!”

Zoey grabbed a napkin and wiped her face. “I’m gonna get revenge. Just wait. You better sleep with one eye open.”

Brooke: “What if I sleep with BOTH eyes open?”

Mia: “Okay, that’s scarier than the juice box.”

And from that day on… juice boxes were declared dangerous weapons at the lunch table.

THE END—wait no. NO THE END. Forget I said that.

Funny Story of the Week #5 | 3/26/25

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 00:34:59 +0000

Fictional/Made-Up
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It all started when I, the unlucky protagonist of this tragic tale, was peacefully sitting at lunch, minding my own business. I had my sandwich, my chips, and, most importantly, my juice box. A perfectly normal lunch. Until disaster struck.

I poked the straw into the juice box, and for a brief, beautiful moment, everything was fine. But then—out of nowhere—Maddie sat down across from me and slammed her tray on the table so hard that my hand jerked. I squeezed the juice box.

Big mistake.

A fountain of juice BURST from the straw like a geyser, hitting me square in the face. I blinked in shock as sticky apple juice dripped from my nose. The table erupted into laughter.

And then—because fate apparently HATES me—Maddie, in her panic, knocked her water bottle over. The lid was loose. The water didn’t just spill—it soaked my entire tray. My sandwich? Gone. My chips? A lost cause. My dignity? Destroyed.

I sat there, a juice-covered, soggy-lunch-having mess, while everyone cackled like a pack of hyenas.

Maddie tried to help. She really did. But her attempt to hand me a napkin turned into her accidentally smacking my juice box AGAIN.

SPLAT.

This time, it hit Emily.

The lunchroom mayhem that followed will be spoken of for generations.

This is the first chapter of the book :3 (Warning: TW)

Sat, 15 Mar 2025 18:59:54 +0000

BEFORE YOU BEGIN READING PLEASE BE AWARE THIS IS A VERY TW BOOK DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO TOPICS SUCH AS DEATH, VIOLENCE/ VIOLENT TOPICS, GUNFIRE, ABUSE, AND CAR ACCIDENTS

Chapter One

Death Always Comes

Micheal

I saw a flash of white light blink before my eyes; pain slowly faded in as my body hit the ground. My coworkers surrounded me as I lay limp on the floor.

Oh God Am I Dead…

Vick started yelling curses at the woman, yet I, I heard nothing- well I heard something I won’t say but, It was barely audible.

Should I try to stand up?

I attempted to pull my body upward by grabbing Zoe’s hand but- it just- fell through.

Yep, I’m dead, sooo freakin’ dead.

I decided instead of someone helping me up, because I’m, ya know, dead, I pushed off the floor and landed on my feet.

“ Hi, I know you can’t hear me but-” with every word the lights flickered in what looked like morse code? I chose to stop haunting the lights and myself, though I don’t think they noticed or better yet, heard.

I’m a dead man, a really, I mean a really dead man. How did this-

—

My head hurt after my alarm clock blasted “ Sweet dreams are made of these, who am I to disagr-'' My fist slammed into the alarm clock and the song ended slowly and painfully with its screechy doom by my morning anger. “God I’m sick of that song now” I muttered. Soon I was rolling out of bed still wearing my suit from- ah, yes my ex’s wedding. My best friend Arcus had married my ex, Kai, he wasn't bad to me until he wanted to move in after months of being together. Then he made me feel awful for denying him that and he ruined my life, hurt me, forced me to walk around with bruises he inflicted on me. Anyways… he swore to me and Arcus he’d never hurt her and I’ve warned Arcus he’s bad news but “Ohhh Michael, I love him! He won’t hurt me!” I hated it when she gave me that voice.

My throat hurt but I guess that due to me having to scream at everyone at the wedding to shut up so they could actually get on with it. Even the pastor, Arcus and Kai were getting annoyed by standing there for about fifteen minutes while everyone just chatted on. I kindly waited, cheering Arcus on to stay sane and wait, shoulda taken my own advice because I yelled “Jesus Christ people, this is a wedding for *freaks* sake, SHUT UP.” Seeing Kai kiss Arcus like that, like he’d never even done to me I knew he wouldn’t hurt her even if he had to, he never would, never will.

My day went on as it normally would, coffee, shower, and into the car, off to work… the same thing, every single day.

—At the Office—

“CLICK, CLICK, CLICK”

It’s all I really do at work after my undeserved promotion from fetching coffee to office worker.

“CLICK, CLICK, CLICK”

The sound of my keys clicking down and popping back up as words appeared in front of me could always make me fall asleep but never at work, I’m trying to earn this promotion.

Zoe, my friend who I may or may not have a small crush on, walked to my cubicle and asked if I had extra printer paper. I handed her a chunk and she started talking about her new romance novel and how she's gotten about 200,542 words in. I responded with a “Hey, that’s great Zo!” and she nodded her head in agreement and ambled back to her highly decorated cubicle with pink fairy lights and blue sticky notes slapped on the wall haphazardly. I don’t know how the boss lets her do that but I guess it’s because of her charisma and looks.

“CLICK, CLICK, CLICK”

Mystery books have always been my favourite, the ominous mood, intense cliffhangers, brutal murders, and unknown killers have always been the most interesting to me. My family ever since I was young watched The UneXplained and NCIS and I’ve grown accustomed to it always being part of my life.

At night I lay in bed thinking about my old friends and one always comes to mind, Kayleb Breks. I had gone to a party one night leaving him in our college dorm alone. I got an alert for a killer on campus. I hadn't been worried until a minute passed and another appeared, eight dead at Greys College of Business and The Arts. I always called it “The Grey School.'' because nothing happened. It was dull, plain and boring until the shooting after everyone was on edge and my roommate was found dead outside the dorm building with a bat in hand trying to protect the people inside. Not a very bright idea if you ask me, there’s a likely experienced killer on the loose who had a gun and he stood outside with a bat of all things, a bat. Man, he could have done better than that, I knew him, we stayed up on weekends studying the world’s best and worst killers that the world had known, he should have known better.

“CLICK, CLICK, CLICK”

I’ve never been afraid of death, in fact I’ve been surrounded by it ever since I was 14. My mother, little brother and my aunt all died in a brutal car crash. I don’t remember much, though I do remember people screaming well before the car even flipped. The funeral was short and nobody could cry, it was too often that somebody died.

“CLICK, CLICK, CLICK”

Wait, what am I even writing?

I suddenly glance up from my keyboard and realise, I’ve just been typing my thoughts instead of filling out papers and whatever Boss tells me to do. (Also, in my spare time I help write Murders of The Hallows.) I held the delete button for a while until everything unrelated to the book was gone.

“CLICK, CLICK, CLICK”

I got up to walk over to the restroom which had about eight white doors with metal rusted handles and hinges. I washed my hands at a nearby sink, dried my hands and stared long and hard at the window behind the sink. Then lightning struck across the sky, and it began to pour, and I mean it was raining so hard it sounded like hail- wait maybe there actually is some. Maybe I should check my phone? I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and swiped the screen just to immediately see the Extreme Weather Alert, you are at risk of tornados. Great, just great I could now die from a tornado.

I left the restroom and hurried over to Zoe’s cubicle.

“Hey Zo, I just checked my phone. “We’re at risk of a tornado.”

Vick flung himself through the gap in the cubicle to the hallway “Wait, really? A tornado? That never happens around here. Sorry for listening in but I’d like to know if we’re in danger.” Vick stared blankly at us waiting for an answer.

“I’m gonna check my phone again to be sure” I said, trying to comfort him by patting his arm.

“BOOM”

Zoe broke her silent stare at my phone and whimpered a little after the lightning struck loud enough so we could hear in the building.

I pulled up the weather app I always use and it began speaking saying please get to a safe area. A tornado has been spotted about a mile from your location.

“Oh- oh my- dear god are we gonna die?” Zoe stuttered

I paused a few seconds before answering her “Oh it’ll be painful death and the building will likely collapse” I nervously laughed “I’m kidding we’ll be fine.” Vick stared at me uneasily so I reassured him that I just have dark humour when I’m stressed.

Zoe finally said something rational “Why don’t we sit under my desk?”

“Heyyy, you didn’t go mute from stress congrats, and yeah sounds good.” I laughed. We crawled under the desk and surprise, surprise, about two minutes after getting comfy, “LOCKDOWN… LOCKDOWN… THERE IS AN INTRUDER IN THE BUILDING!!!” The sound of the unused intercom screeched to life warning everyone. Zoe curled up in a ball against my side and I wrapped my arm around her with my hand resting on her knee. I look over to Vick to see how he is handling the situation, just to see him glaring at me. I'm sure he’s thinking something like now's not the time to be romantic or something stupid like that.

“…LOCKDOWN…”

“Shouldn’t we be in the restroom because it’s got less windows unlike the walls of the building and we can all hide in the big stall in the back?” Vick suggested

“…LOCKDOWN…”

“Sounds good I guess, if you wanna risk getting shot.” I muttered, grabbing Zoe’s hand following Vick to the restroom.

“…LOCKDOWN”

As our luck had it he, the shooter was standing right next to the restroom door and we were already standing with dead eye contact locked onto his gun. He looked at me first then Vick, he seemed, panicked? Maybe he’s not like the college shooter? In fact he’s hesitating to even hold up the gun.

“…LOCKD-”

The speakers screeched “They are currently in front of the 4th floor restroom”

“-OWN…”

A tall also masked woman walked over and sneered “So ya just gonna stand there puny?”

“They were just going to hide from the tornados, and- and us.” His voice trailed off.

“…LOCKDOWN”

“So? You still need to take care of them.” The masked woman complained

Take care of them? She really said that, it’s so basic. So unoriginal.

“I- I don’t wanna hurt them, they can’t even see us- or they can’t see our faces- I- I’m just, I’m letting them into the bathroom, okay? Okay?! You are not going to hurt them.” he commanded.

“…LOCKDOWN…”

“Oh, oh, okay I’ll just shoot pretty boy in the middle”

“NO-”

Is this really how I die?

“BANG!!!” “…LOCKDOWN…”

I looked down and saw the blood begin to flood my white button up shirt. Sounds around me faded and I saw a flash of white light blink before my eyes, as pain slowly faded in as my body hit the ground.

Funny Story of the Week #3 | 3/13/25

Thu, 13 Mar 2025 23:48:38 +0000

Fictional/Made-Up
______________________________________________________________________
Lena had a problem. A big problem.

Her little brother, Max, had somehow gotten his hands on her one secret stash of candy—the emergency, never-to-be-touched, LAST RESORT candy. And now he was running around the house, shoving handfuls of it in his mouth like some sort of sugar-gremlin.

“I’LL GIVE YOU FIVE BUCKS TO PUT THAT DOWN!” Lena yelled, chasing him through the kitchen.

Max cackled like a maniac and parkoured over the couch. “TOO LATE, LOSER!” he screamed, spraying Skittles everywhere.

Lena dove for him. Missed. Crashed face-first into a chair.

“I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO!” she shrieked, rubbing her nose.

Then, disaster struck.

Max suddenly froze. He blinked, swayed a little, and clutched his stomach.

Lena’s eyes widened. “Oh no.”

Max let out a weak, tragic whisper:

“…I ate too much.”

Lena had approximately three seconds to react before Max violently threw up a rainbow of candy right onto their mom’s brand-new white carpet.

Silence.

They both stared at the mess in horror.

Then—

“IF MOM SEES THIS, WE’RE DEAD!”

Cue absolute mayhem. They threw every towel, every paper napkin, every random sock they could find on the disaster zone. Max tried to rub it out with his sleeve. Lena dumped an entire bottle of Febreze onto the carpet like she was performing an exorcism. The room now smelled like a horrifying mix of fake lavender and regret.

Then, the worst thing possible happened.

A car pulled into the driveway.

Mom was home.

Lena and Max locked eyes.

“Run?” Max whispered.

Lena nodded.

They were never seen again.

(Just kidding. They were totally caught. And grounded for eternity.)

Funny Story of the Week #1 | 2/26/25

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 01:11:40 +0000

Fictional/Made-Up
______________________________________________________________________
Samantha had always been sort of clumsy, but today was a new record.

Her school was having a big assembly, and she got picked to carry the microphone up to the principal. Easy job. No way to mess it up. Except… this was Samantha.

She confidently walked up the stage, mic in hand, when disaster struck. Her shoelace had apparently made a secret alliance with gravity. One second she was walking, the next—BAM!—she tripped, slamming the mic against the floor.

A loud, ear-piercing BZZZZZZT echoed through the entire gym. It was so loud that even the birds outside probably quit their conversation. The principal jumped. The teachers winced. Some kid in the front row clutched his heart like he’d just seen his life flash before his eyes.

But the worst part? THE MIC WAS STILL ON.

As Samantha scrambled to her feet, the microphone, now right next to her face, caught every single panicked sound she made. The entire gymnasium got treated to a live broadcast of:

“OH MY GOSH—AHH—MY KNEE—DID I BREAK IT?! NO, OKAY, WAIT—WHY IS MY HAND SWEATY? OH NO, THE MIC—THE MIC—IS IT STILL ON? HELLO??—OH NO, IT'S MAKING THE STATIC NOISE AGAIN—”

By the time she made it to the principal, the whole school was wheezing. Some kids were straight-up crying from laughter. Samantha just handed over the mic, sighed, and said, “Please pretend that never happened.”

Spoiler alert: No one ever forgot.