KidzTalk - Recent questions tagged #friendproblem

How i knew my gender/sexuality..

Wed, 31 May 2023 00:51:43 +0000

Hi! Here I just wanted to share how I figured out I was genderfluid, omnisexual, and aromantic.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Genderfluid: Experiencing gender "fluidity"; not having one fixed gender.

I knew I was gender fluid when I started feeling masculine/wanting to present masc one day but wanting to be more fem the next. I also wanted my chest one day but not the next. I often cried because I literally could not make myself look masculine in any way. I was also incredibly jealous of boys, with they're naturally flat chests. I wanted to be like them. I was also totally okay with being called a boy/girl/anything.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aromantic: Feeling little to no romantic attraction.

My parents always told me that as a kid I never wanted to hug/kiss my relatives. Even when I was as young as 2 years old I just hated anything even remotely romantic/touchy.

I also have a memory of myself in 3rd grade (8-9 years old), when I had a friend over. We were talking about crushes and she asked me if I had any, as she listed out all of hers. Even as a 9 year old, this made me uncomfortable and I told her the truth: I didn't have any.

I am in 6th grade (end of 6th grade/heading into 7th) and I have only ever had one real "crush" but they only lasted about 3 months before I got over them. I also hate the idea of being in a relationship and would prefer to be by myself. The thought of even remotely dating/being interested in someone makes me literally gag.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Omnisexual: Liking all genders but gender being a factor in their attraction.

My sexuality journey went like this:

Im straight! Wait, no that girl is really hot..No im not lesbian am i? Okay, yes im lesbian. But that guy is also really handsome...but ew, dating is disgusting and relationships make me gag... Maybe im Pan then. I don't really care about gender...or do i? Okay, maybe im omni. Yes, definitely omni.

As an omni person I can say that I prefer to be with no-men rather than men, but that's not to say I wouldn't date a man. I am a romantic tho, so finding love isn't exactly easy, and falling in love is even more difficult. You may be asking, "But aren't Pansexual and Omnisexual the same?". well, yes and no. Pansexual people identify as " genderblind", meaning they don't care what gender someone is and are blind to it. Omni people, on the other hand, notice gender but simply do not care.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope this helped you, and feel free to share your LGBTQ+ stories if you have them. If I missed anything or messed something up please tell me lol. I wrote this on 2 hours of sleep and im going to bed now, bye! :D

I seriously need help here...

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 22:02:50 +0000

So there's this kid in my homeroom that came in to class a few weeks ago with a cast on her arm. She said nothing of the sort other than that her arm hurt (her name is Amanda by the way). The entire class period went fine until the end, when the teacher, Mr. H, asked me if I would help Amanda carry her books and notebooks to her next class. Let me remind you, she carried her stuff in with her to the class we were currently in. I didn't think much of it and did as the teacher asked, but it started getting frequent.

That happened about 4 weeks ago now, and I've been carrying Amanda's stuff for her every day since then. I didn't mind at first, but then I started getting really suspicious. As I mentioned before, she wore a cast, but after about 1-2 weeks she stopped wearing it, but still needed help carrying her stuff. It certainly was odd, but I just brushed it off because I was happy to help.

Today, however, I was packing up my pencils at the end of the period and Amanda came over to me as she always did, asking for help. I did as she asked, and after I dropped her stuff off I started walking to my next period. I turned the corner into the hallway where the classroom was located and the bell rang literally 3 seconds after I got in. I was panting because I had ran for my life.

Now I was pretty annoyed. I had no issue helping her but if it was going to make me late, then I wasn't going to help her anymore. Mind you, over all of these weeks I have been the only one carrying het stuff. Mr H thinks nothing of it but I find it incredibly weird.

Anyway, I got to lunch and brought up the subject of Amanda to my friends, to which one of them said "Oh yeah Amanda does that a lot. Mrs B (one of the ELA teachers) had this other student carry her things for her once but that stopped when Mrs B saw Amanda using both her arms, including her " sore" arm, to carry her stuff".

I was so mad. I had suspected something and I knew I should have trusted my gut. I asked my friend, Kenna, about it at the end of the day at our lockers and she said she saw Amanda walking out of study hall carrying her stuff with 2 arms. I asked others in my homeroom and they agreed. All of them had seen Amanda using her apparently sore/broken arm.

Idk what to do. I want to confront Mr H and I have a feeling he would believe me because I get good grades and he's a really nice teacher and he trusts me, but what do I say? I can't just say "oh hi Mr h, so yeah this kids faking". It sounds weird. Im thinking of bringing along 2 of the kids that saw her using her arms for support but idk. Any advice? I really need it.

Questioning..

Thu, 06 Apr 2023 04:26:35 +0000

So I am 12 but I kind of know I am Pansexual (at least that's what im calling myself right now). I don't really have a preference but if i had to choose I would prefer girls.

Anyway, I already came out to my dad and he supports but he thought I was too immature to know my sexuality at such a 'young' age, but I've known since I was 10 and the only person I've been able to tell was my friend. My mom also knows and she supports but I know deep down she also thinks its just another one of my weird phases.

So yeah I've only really been able to tell my friends. In the beginning I thought I was lesbian because I had a crush on this girl in my class. We became really good friends and I eventually told her I liked her, which is when she told me that she was actually a Trans Masc and used he\they pronouns now. I was very happy for him but it made me question myself again, and when I did more research I found out I was Pan. I was very happy about it.

Then he (I will call him Jay for privacy reasons) started crushing on this girl named Abby. I was so jealous because we had "dated" for a few months until he just broke up with me one day. I had actually seen it coming though, since he hadn't been himself. I was heartbroken, because I am Aroace and have difficulty expressing feelings. I had never liked anyone before besides him.

We stayed friends though and he started chasing Abby. Naturally I was happy that he was finally in love with someone but I still liked him and I felt very awkward around her.

Then my other friend Kate, who I am kind of friend-aquaintance with, told me that her ad Abby had been chatting and Abby told her that she didn't actually like Jay, and that he made her uncomfortable. I was surprised because Abby had been holding Jays hand everywhere and acting all romantic and I thought she liked Jay back but I guess not. I didn't know how to tell Jay though cause naturally he was one of my closest friends and it was really hard but eventually I just broke and told him. He though I was joking at first but a few weeks later Abby confirmed it and apologized to Jay.

Idk what to do, because I like Jay and Abby knows that but I know he doesn't have feelings for me anymore.

I also don't know my gender identity. My assigned birth gender is Female btw. I feel like a Trans Masc but also Non Binary and also Female at the same time. I also feel like none of them but all of them. It's a weird feeling. right now I am using He\She\They pronouns until I figure it out. Im sorry this was so long but does anyone have any advice?? (im sorry if this seems way too dramatic and weird btw, because it fully is haha)

Kinda questioning my identity and relationship rn...

Thu, 08 Dec 2022 22:58:11 +0000

This is gonna be a long one, I apologize in advance.

A year ago I thought I was lesbian as I had been crushing on multiple girls. Not gonna lie I didn't really know what being lesbian felt like until I started feeling odd romantic feelings to wards others of the same gender as me. I will be honest...I didn't really question it at first before shyly coming out to my closest companions.

Then the 'girl' I had been crushing on, who also just so happens to be my close friend, told me that she was actually using he/him pronouns and was not going to be described as a female anymore. This kind of ruined me and I went through a few mental breakdowns and a lot of self-questioning.

Mind you, this is all happening a year after I came out to my dad as lesbian. I am starting to think I may be pansexual, but I don't really know. I've been laying in my room for the past 2 days, not going to school because I had a 'cold'. I just kept contemplating my identity and doubting myself and sobbing silently. I honestly feel like its too soon for me to be changing my identity like this, and I don't want it to seem like its just a 'phase' and I am trying to look 'cool' by calling myself LGBTQ+, and for others to judge me unfairly.

I confessed my confusion and crush to my friend, who I mentioned earlier. He was very understanding and said he liked me too and that he (who is trans himself) had romantic feelings for me as well. So now we are dating, though it is uncomfortable since I haven't come to a conclusion on my identity yet. He has been very patient with me and I really appreciate it.

As I mentioned earlier, I already told my father that I was lesbian and I don't know if its possible for me to change my feelings this way..and I started to wish my partner didn't tell me what he told me about his pronouns and gender. But I now realize how unfair that was of me. I don't want it to seem like 'oh yeah, I said I was lesbian but now I wanna be pansexual. I can change myself whenever I want', you know?

And what if my partner breaks up with me in the future? Do I just go back to being 'lesbian'?? I don't want it to seem like I only told people I was pansexual for my partner, or some insane nonsense like that. Every time someone asks me my sexuality, I just tell them I don't know and its awkward for me, my partner, and the person I told it to.

I need help, seriously. This is affecting my grades and I am really going through a rough patch in my life. I need some honest opinions from yall. I would really appreciate it. thank you

I need some help with my gender identity and things here!

Sun, 16 Oct 2022 00:17:37 +0000

So I am lesbian and have been into my girl bestie since I met her a year and a half ago (almost 2 years now). We are incredibly close and I have been crushing on her since the day I met her. I have given her subtle signs that I like her but she has never seemed to catch on. I hang out with her as much as I can. In fact, she was the first person that learned I was lesbian, ad she was really happy for me.

Just recently, aka two weeks ago, she came over to my place. She had told me the day before that she had something super important to tell me but she didn't feel comfortable saying it in school. I was totally ok with that and was in suspense for days. I came up with lists of crazy ideas that she might want to tell me, but the reality was way more unbelievable.

I sat her down on my bed and she was hesitant to tell me, but eventually she did.

She told me she was now using the pronouns He/Him. He almost cried and I hugged him. A few days later, I confess that I had been crushing on him for a while and that I was Pansexual for him. So I am Pansexual but I prefer girls (That doesn't mean I can't be with a boy but you get the point here). Now, we are dating, yet that's not the last of it.

So I have this friend/weird person that I hang out with often. Her name is Melody, and she can be hysterical at times but she is very kindhearted. I always thought she was Straight, as she used to agree with other girls when they talked about 'hot' boys. Yet, apparently I was wrong because she told me and my boyfriend yesterday that she was Bisexual. I was happy for her and asked her in passing if she had a crush on a girl.

She was incredibly reluctant to tell me and told me on a video call after school. She said she had a crush on me and my boyfriend and was heartbroken when she found out we were dating.

I felt so horrible and apologized profusely. Melody insisted that it was fine and that she would deal with it, but that didn't stop me from feeling bad. She made me promise not to tell my boyfriend, but she knows that I can't keep a secret to save my life. I was forced to tell my boyfriend in the end, I just couldn't hold such a huge secret in. At first, he thought I was joking. But after I explained everything to him, he understood.

Now, we both feel awful and guilty. Melody had been shunning us and I have no idea what to do. Somebody help me, I can't leave my boyfriend, I love him too much. Yet, I dnt want Melody to become my enemy because of something I can't control.

I need serious advice here, also, I am sorry that this was so long. There's too much I need to explain here.

Thanks.