KidzTalk - Recent questions tagged oldlady

To that lady in the restaurant

Thu, 28 Nov 2024 13:16:51 +0000

I'm so sorry you had to see me chug half of a jarritos in under 15 seconds. I promise it wasn't something else.

New Old Lady Comedy

Sat, 19 Oct 2019 20:28:46 +0000

Mary Jojo (old lady) is on the phone receiving a sales call.

Kristine (Sales call lady): Hello, I'm Kristine and I was wondering if you would like to donate money to a foundation where most of the money goes to a rich person in New York, but you may be lucky and get to give five cents to a homeless per-

Mary Jojo (shouting): I CAN"T HERE YOU SUNNY!!! YOU GOTTA SPEAK UP!!!

Kristine: Is there someone eighteen or older in this household?

Mary Jojo: Well then! Thank you! At least someone finds me attractive. AND I'M SIX MILLION NINETY-SEVEN!!! DOES THAT MAKE THE CUT?

Kristine: So, anyway... Will you donate mon-

Mary Jojo: WAIT A MINUTE! IS THIS ONE OF THEM JUNK CALLS?!! MARY JOJO HATES THEM JUNK CALLS!!! So uh, how do you hang up?

Also, shoutout to Knight Star and Lunalovegoodmolly! They're the best!

Old Lady Comedy

Sat, 19 Oct 2019 09:39:45 +0000

Mary Jojo (old lady): Why HELLO Ed Nancy! I just learned how to use one of them fancy tely-phones! You have to press them FANCY buttons, to dial them FANCY numbers!

Ed Nancy: (other old lady) Well, well, well! How astonishing!

(Mary Jojo and Ed Nancy are crossing the street very slowly. Thirty minutes have passed, and they have moved ten feet. A car honks at them.)

Mary Jojo: (Frowns) Nobody has respect for their elders these days. These kids are too babied. I remember in '39 when it was the hottest summer 'round. I had stolen ten cents from my dear mama to buy myself an ice cream cone. And when she found out, I was a whipped so hard, I couldn't sit for a week!

Ed Nancy: You said it, dearie! But was that sixteen thirty-nine or nineteen thirty-nine?