I've been struggling with a lot of different issues over the past few years.
Mainly, about last summer, around July 2024, I went to the doctor because my parents noticed me acting strange and, as they guessed, I was struggling with several mental illnesses.
The main one, being severe anxiety, along with Bipolar disorder.
Unfortunately, the main cause stemmed from me being "overly aware." As in, I think about myself and others way too much. Overly conscious.
The only peace I got, was sleeping. So yeah, I felt REALLY depressed, and at times, I still do.
I can't hep but question, "Why am I doing this?" or something like; "How do people enjoy living like this?"
My brain doesn't really stop thinking and questioning. It nags me!
I managed to keep it under control for quite a lot more time, in fact, this past year I have! (Although, I'd say, the only reason I ever manage to calm em is by distracting myself with media, which has led me to a terrible addiction..) But ever since I'm less distracted with other things, it's like my brain won't shut up about "Why do people trust the government so much?" or just other things about general trust.
Yeah, I have trust issues. There's a lot going on, but I won't go into major details.
Although I do want to talk more about the dumb addictions.
There's something in my families genetics that makes most people in my family much more easily addicted to things. Even as little as something like a dumb hobby or even just work.
I'm 13 and am already on my way to becoming some sort of serious addict. I hope not something bad, I am staying clear and far as possible from those. Although working has been a problem for me. I need to focus on one thing only, so I can distract myself, so, when I even do school work, I get sucking into making it perfect, and there will be certain phases where I will not stop working until it generally drains me. Those phases last either weeks, or months. It depends.
It's rough, but it's life.
The main reason why I share this is just because I want feedback. I am not good with IRL things, so at times, I'll get too nervous to say things to my therapist.
