A single bird in the distance dropped dead mid-flight.
"WHY?!" Rockstar screamed.
BeepawStar tilted his head.
"Why not?"
Muffinpaw, who had long since accepted the inevitability of nonsense, just sighed.
"Alright. What’s the plan?"
BeepawStar pulled out a crudely drawn diagram.
"Step one: We find where gravity is stored."
Rockstar slammed his head into the ground.
"GRAVITY IS NOT A THING YOU CAN PUT IN A BOX."
BeepawStar ignored him and continued.
"Step two: We put it in a box."
Rockstar screamed.
"Step three: Profit."
Muffinpaw nodded.
"Solid plan."
GroundClan held an emergency meeting.
"Where is gravity stored?" BeepawStar asked.
Silence.
Then Rainbowpaw raised a paw.
"Maybe… inside the biggest rock?"
Everyone turned toward The Large Rock.
Rockstar’s left eye twitched.
"No," he said. "Absolutely not. That makes no sense."
BeepawStar nodded.
"Alright, let’s break the rock."
"NO."
Too late. Thirty warriors were already smashing their faces against it.
It took six hours.
But eventually, the rock shattered.
And then—
Gravity stopped working.
CATS STARTED FLOATING INTO THE SKY.
BeepawStar grinned as he gently drifted upward.
"SUCCESS."
"THIS IS NOT SUCCESS," Rockstar shrieked as he flailed in mid-air. "THIS IS A NIGHTMARE."
Muffinpaw calmly did somersaults through the atmosphere.
"This is actually quite fun."
Chaos erupted.
Kits were bouncing off treetops.
Elders were spinning like slow-motion pinwheels.
A single rogue got launched into orbit.
A confused twoleg in the distance watched his lawn chair float away.
Fireflame, who had had enough of this nonsense, reached into his lunchbox.
He pulled out a single sandwich.
Took a bite.
And then sighed.
"Put. Gravity. Back."
"NEVER!" BeepawStar yelled as he did a backflip into the clouds.
Rockstar, still spinning violently, grabbed Muffinpaw by the scruff.
"WE HAVE TO STEAL GRAVITY BACK."
Muffinpaw shrugged. "How?"
Rockstar took a deep breath.
"We reverse everything BeepawStar did."
"By…"
"Punching the air so hard that reality resets."
Muffinpaw stared.
"That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard."
Rockstar nodded.
"It’s the only way."
Rockstar floated to the highest point.
Took a deep breath.
Summoned every ounce of rage, suffering, and pent-up trauma caused by BeepawStar’s existence.
And then—
HE PUNCHED THE AIR.
THE SKY SHATTERED LIKE GLASS.
REALITY GLITCHED.
Suddenly, cats slammed back into the ground.
Trees re-rooted themselves.
The rogue who had been launched into orbit crashed back into camp.
Gravity was back.
The universe stabilized.
For a long moment, GroundClan was silent.
Rockstar lay on the ground, unmoving.
Muffinpaw blinked at the sky.
"...Did that actually work?"
Then, from the rubble of The Large Rock, a horrifyingly familiar voice spoke.
"GUESS WHO SURVIVED!"
Rockstar let out one final, exhausted scream.
BeepawStar cackled.
"NEXT UP: WE’RE STEALING TIME ITSELF!"
