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okay so before you guys hate me or whatever i might be overreacting and am super dramatic but i really need to talk it out. im 14 and muslim i have really strict parents who dont let me do anything. growing up i was always a shy kid and really quiet i hung out with this one girl through out my entire elementary and stuff so when she was gone in middle school it was really hard for me to socialize and communicate with others so i really just spent all my years having no friends nobody to talk too and you know my mental health got pretty bad so throughout it i think i have adhd and social anxiety so ofcourse i dont talk to anyone and im just a loner. on top of this, i have south asian parents who dont let me spend my money usually and even when i do get a few bucks saved they make me buy something i dont want just for their own benefits like for examle when i had 2k saved my mom made me buy real gold jewelry and now she says i can sell it bc i complain too much and then why would you make me buy it then. honestly i really wanted an ipad back then because i had no social media no phone no nothing (i still dont have anything) i dont have a phone at 14 years old everyone younger then me already has one and i am really talkitave online and good at comunicating i guess but it hurts cause my parents wont let me have a phone and theres literally old phones in our house they have hid from me (iphone mini 12 that would be perfect for me) i really want to socialize and communicate to people but they just wont let me and since im embarassed i dont have one every time someone asks me i just say my parents wont let me take it to school because i feel ashamed everyone has one except me i decided to make an instagram accoutn secretly on my moms phone using the hide apps thingy so they dont see it and get mad.. thats been working pretty well and im able to talk to my old friends i had from elementary but im really scared they will find out eventually and get mad at me ;( and i just want to talk to people but my parents wont let me and it feels like i dont have enough stuff to be someones friend, once i tried to make a friend and when they asked for my number i had to tell her i dont a number (obv i cant use my parents) so she lowk stopped talking to me but i try and yet im still not enough for friends, my parents, anyone at this point they always say my cousins having phone is bad like my cousin is 17 and they say she doesnt deserve one but shes almost an adult *** my dad gets mad cause when he picks her up from school shes on her phone like so what bro if it makes u that mad and i get a phone i wont be on it infront of you just to not make you upset. my parents say phones arent needed until college but back when i was like 9 my dad told me i could get one when im 15 but now he knows im growing up so he changed it to college and my birthday is pretty soon but ik im not gonna get the phone. just earlier i brought up that my little cousin thats 12 has a phone now and he got mad and started say sh like "oh i have more experience then you" "i know whats best" omg. i just said he has a phone and he starts to crash out but i really want to socialize and the fact my dad took me to therapy to get more confidence bc of my anxiety and stufff shows he cares about me but he isnt trying at all and therapy just so i can talk to people irl but obv since i have problems and he wont help it just wont work at all ngl i prolly have less confidence then before. i have told them about my feelings alot and how it felt but they just wont do anything about it and they arent really abusive i dont get hit but yh sorry its long and im "over dramatic" but i really need some advice on how to handle this and if its normal. i dont think its wrong for wanting to ..connect and socialize i just wish my parents understood me i think it would rlly help me bulid confidence nd yk..
