I need help..

Question

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I want to talk to my boyfriend about everything, and he's already seen my venting journal, but I have the natural reflex to just shut people out.. I want to talk to people, but I'm scared.. I'm constantly afraid I'm going to lose my friends because I can't do anything right. I'm having breakdowns every night, panic attacks in the middle of the day in the school bathroom, and I'm slowly just spiraling. I'm always feeling like I'm not good enough, but all I do is smile, shut people out, and pretend everything's okay when all I want to do is for them to just hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I hate that I'm always feeling like this. I help others and take their problems on myself  to make myself feel better, but in the end I feel so much worse because I just take other's problems on myself and blame myself for their problems. I blame myself for everything and "the thoughts" have been around for about a year now.. I don't know what to do. Any help?

Answer 1

Maybe see a therapist or something? Hope this helps.

Comments

I'm already in therapy...

Answer 2

Hey! Don't panic. PM me pls.

Comments

l

Answer 3

it's okay ml...

Most of the time i feel the same.

Answer 4

Let us sit down real quick

It sounds like you have some kind of trauma or something especially since you say you naturally shut people out. dont worry, if they are really your friend or really care about you, they wont laugh. also I understand you, I have never felt this way and I hope that doesnt make my opinion shallow but I think what you need is to just take a look at what you have. if you don't want to do that have a gratitude journal or a journal to write down why you exist. like what do you like in your life. hope it helps.