+8 votes
218 views
in Fiction by (2.0k points)
They wake up in a hospital bed wondering were the are.

Josh: Hello? WAIT WHERE ARE WE!!! (Coughs)

David: I think we are in a hospital bro.

Josh: Oh ok (Sighs in relief)

Someone walks into the room having a happy look on her face.

Rose: Hi brothers!! Good Morning you guys were out like light for 3 days

Josh: :0 SIS!!

David: Phew,I thought you were going to die

Rose: I am ok now.

Josh: Are you going to come home with us?

Rose: No,I have to stay here for the night because I might have a another coma.

David: ok.

 

The next morning they hear a Big BOOM

BOOM!!!

Josh: What was that!?

David:(Looks into kitchen) :0 NOOO!!!

Josh: What is it David!!!

Josh: :0 ROSE!!! She crashed into our house (Cries)

David: Um... I think that's really bad.

Josh OF COURSE THATS BAD DAVID!!!

 

They rush her to the hospital and they tell Mom

Josh: Doc his she ok.

Doc: No, I do not think she is going to make it

Rose: (Coughs) Um... What is going on.

Josh: :0 You are ok, you got into a accident thats what is going on

Rose: Brothers I think... Bye I will see you in heaven... (Dies)

Josh and David and Suddenly Mom: NOOO ROSE!!!!!

TO BE COUNTINUED!



3 Answers

+1 vote
by (25.9k points)
could be better just try to make it better
+1 vote
by (25.9k points)
like for the Rose dying part you should do this instead:

Rose: Oh, I cant breath, help.

John or david: Sis noo

Rose: Guys I just wanted to say you are the best brothers ever you looked out for me when I was injured or sick and I was there for you so thank you, (Turns pale and dies)
+1 vote
by (134k points)
Maybe a bit more emotion from the characters and a bit less sudden death but otherwise cool



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