My BFF and I are having a Hard time PLS help.

Question

1. So, I am doing a secret santa with my friends yadda yadda and my BFF and I agreed that we could get each other presents. So we worked hard so we couldn't get each other in Secret Santa. Then, a few days ago she told me she wasn't gonna do the present bc she didn't have enough money. But earlier she basically promised that we could do it.

2. She doesn't pay attention in any class on zoom (neither do I) and we chat. But then in math class, she told me that she was gonna pay attention and not chat. I asked why (bc she has told me that she doesnt like school) and she said that it was bc math is the most important. I asked if we could chat while working and she said, "No. Just because you are smart doesnt mean everyone else is." I didn't know what she was talking about. I had never said I was really smart. Yes, I like math, but I have never ever bragged about being smart.

 

If you think these are unreasonable, its fine, but if anyone has advice, pls tell me.

Answer 1

I know that must be hard. 

first of all the money thing.... I’m puzzled. Why would she agree to Secret Santa AND THEN have no money? I would think she’d save up and not spend her money on other things.  Forget about it though, does a Secret Santa need to coast a friendship? As for your share, get her something even though she bailed out. Maybe a book or keychain, this will help because it’ll make her feel like you WANT her to feel good even though she couldn’t. The math class thing... I think she’s jealous of how smart you are. I also think she might struggle with math a little bit. Sometimes during class, (When I’m aloud to.) I chat to my sister and sometimes I say “Hey, I need to pay attention now.” and sometimes she does the same. Just accept that and let her focus so she can get better at math. Maybe private chat the teacher and ask to talk to her privately during a break/recess and let him/her know. S/he is here for you if you need help with anything. If you can, maybe you could also talk to a school counselor and explain your situation. You may also want to find some other friends to hang out for a little bit. Take a break from that one friend. 

“Friendships have bumps, and obstacles in the way, but you have to make it over the bumps!” -Me (lol!)

If you ever need more help you can come here! We’re here to help!

Answer 2

The first one, she may have promised but hadn't been thinking of money before. I'm broke, it's a relatable thing. for the second one, she may just have thought about school some more and figured math was important and something she needed to learn (even though I doubt anyone except a mathematician uses algebra and geometry daily).

Answer 3

Hmm....well I think you should both just like give each other some time think about it or maybe ask her if anything is wrong like if she is ok you know? because she may be having a hard time in her house or something hope this helps 

Answer 4

Hm. Well, these are kinda unreasonable.

1) if she doesn’t have the money, she doesn’t have the money. That’s not something to get mad about.

2) it is better to focus. I’ll trust that you don’t brag, but she is doing a good thing.

Just talk to her. It’s get better, I promise :)