You sound Depressed.
Have you ever tried talking to an adult about your feelings, I know that no kid wants to be told "It's just a stage". Kids who have good lives are still depressed. Did you boyfriend physically harm you in anyway? It sounds like he damaged your self-esteeme. Have you have lost someone/something recently? You seem to feel bad for leaving him, too. You shouldn't, if he was mean to you.you have every right to leave him .
Other than that, you sound bored. You crave for adventure! You want to live in the present and not sit back and just let the world go by! Try joining an after school club, you could be the next big thing!
-Girl's Advice Column