Derp: Combat Evolved

+6 votes
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Section 3

The encounter



 

It was time to assemble the team. The “team” would consist of people who long lost contact with the soldier. He needed 8 more people to join him. But for another day, he could relax. He filpped on the tv and switched to the movies channel. It was Sergeant York, and the soldier was eating popcorn out of his helmet. It tasted better as the sweat in his helmet naturally acted as salted butter. But then a voice said: “We interrupt this show for an emergency broadcast.” The screen now filled to a picture of a man, the kid president’s father, who was delivering the obituary. The screen then flipped over again to show the Picture. It was it. The Picture. It was about to begin. The soldier knew what was going to happen, and it wasn’t good. So the soldier barricaded all doors, and remove valuable items from each room, and set up some traps on corners. He also put thumbtacks in the rug in front of the couch, and covered all windows with a layer of thick lumber, bricks, and another layer of wood. He went out and purchased a large quantity of bulletproof, bombproof, and disaster proof wallpaper. He then repeated the same task for the walls. Lumber, brick, and lumber. He used the bulletproof, bomb proof, and disaster proof wallpaper and made his home. Then, he considered his roof, and spent the night replacing his shingles with titanium strips taken off the sexy armored vehicle earlier. He then used the same wallpaper on the car. But before he went any further, he took off the three titanium strips he had put on, and placed some of the wallpaper on the whole roof. Then, he installed the special shingles, and put the normal shingles on top for more protection. He then beefed up his walls by using the lumber, brick, lumber, then wallpaper on the exterior. After that, he landmined his lawn and his backyard, removing the deck and built a sniper tower and used some of the remaining titanium to reinforce it, he then went into his basement, moved his valuable items in, and turned into his home once more. He moved his refrigerator and his stove downstairs, and reinforced it once more. After that, he decided his doors needed more security. So he pulled out his old security doors that looked like wood, but was actually titanium. He installed these, and removed all windows from his house. He then reinforced his window frames, and moved all the glass into a safe location. He realized his window wells needed reinforcement, so he then landmined his whole property, but some of the mines were fake, and only he knew about them. He used the reinforcing strategy for his window wells. Then, he dug out a bomb shelter that was airtight, had reinforcement, was very deep, and automatically blocked in the entrance to it once a bomb had flattened his house. had another tv, refrigerator, video games, computer, bed, stove, microwave, food, water, a toilet, shower, and some various supplies and gear. He also moved in a satellite WiFi router, along with a table and some chairs. He moved in his weapons, tools, and medical supplies last. Afterward, he installed some high tech equipment, such as a surveillance system, alarm system, and a radar. Then, he decided to turn his home ready for war. He found the old sentries his friend the engineer gave him. He also found some teleporters and dispensers. He then fixed them all so that they could repair themselves and supply themselves with ammo. He placed them in reinforced locations around his home. One last thing. What about fences? He then replaced all his fences with electric fence, barbed wire, landmines, and spike strips. He made himself a fortified position and a device that could heal for him and supply him infinite ammo that strapped to his chest. He put a mortar and a smart machine t gun in the position with him, and dug a extra hole to his basement, making sure that it was reinforced, hidden, and locked. He was ready for war. 

 

The first day, a bunch of feminists attacked for feminism, but before they could even set foot on the property, they were exterminated by the smart machine gun. A bunch of vegans attacked and died, and a bunch of drunks wanted to join and died. At the end of the day, the soldier walked around and rallied all that were dead, and all that were dying. He took out a rifle and shot those still alive. He then dumped all the bodies next to the communal trash disposal corner of his neighborhood. Then, he carefully patrolled the house, careful to notice any landmines that went off, and then returned home. 


 

Section 4

The discovery


 

By the end of the week, many bodies were rotting on the lawn of the soldiers lawn. Many of them died of bullet wounds, blood loss, and getting maimed. There were many bodies that didn’t have an arm, an leg, or both. Or all four limbs were gone. Then, something caught the mysterious soldiers eye. A door. Or at least, what was left of a door. But this wasn’t an ordinary door, this one looked like it was the hatch of some spacecraft. The edges were frayed and charred, and there was a bit of temper resistant glass that was streaked with black, and then he saw a string of numbers. Or what was left of it: 

 

kie-6928

 

Who on earth had a name with kie? Unless it was a fragment of a name, and then the only possibility would be cookie, but that would be a pet name. But then, he saw it. An egg shaped pod with a piece of the hatch missing, and then there was puddles of blood leading up to the pod, and bits of broken screen, wires, and electronics were scattered everywhere, a long post like object with 4 bent and broken wing like fixtures was calmly sitting there, and the closer the soldier got to it, he could clearly see the marks of bullet holes around and on the hatch, and scorch marks on the sides, with fragments of explosive stuck in it. The soldier gave a quick rap on the hatch, and jumped back startled, as a sudden hissing noise went off from a hole in one of four of the sticks in the egg shaped pod, which then stopped abruptly, and the door hissed, let off steam, and exploded off the egg, which hit the soldier right between the eyes. As the bewildered soldier got up rubbing the now bleeding goose egg between his eyes, he saw a sight no one usually sees. A soldier wearing a darkened helmet, chest plate, leg armor, futuristic boots, fingerless gloves, and damaged shoulder armor staggered out, clutching it’s chest, where there was a large chunk of missing armor, a burn mark, and bullet wounds at the impact spot, bleeding. The bleeding soldier fell over. 

 

The soldier who had found this “bleeding man” found out what type of soldier it was, and it was called a “helljumper”. Or an “Orbital Drop Shock Trooper”, or an “ODST”. He remembered he had a set of the same exact armor in his basement. When he got to it. He saw the ODST standing there, examining the armor the mysterious solider had. He then put it back, and turned to face the mysterious solider. The ODST said “Your that guy who shot the president, are you?” But the mysterious soldier then suddenly recognized the voice.

asked Oct 15 in Fiction by Crafter4017 (1,360 points)


1 Answer

+2 votes
Pretty long! Liked it, though I commented on your KN post about a character. ;)

 

ARMOR: Scout.

ARMOR COLOR: Black or grey.

WEAPON: Dagger.

 

INFO: Is it okay if the solider is a female? It seems that lots of the soldiers in your story are male. If you want to give her a personality, just write her as a quiet, smart and serious character. If age isn't a problem, she can be late teens or early 20's, with dark brown hair in a ponytail and grey eyes to make her easy to blend in,, even though she'd be wearing armor a lot.

And maybe her code name could be Nightingale? They are very sneaky birds that are known to be hard to spot. They are colored shades of brown and grey as well, so she's based off that.

 

Hope you like it!
answered Oct 15 by -GEMHeart- (249,840 points)
Also, why are feminists, vegans, and drunks getting attacked? Vegans aren't bad, they just wanna not eat meat, and that's fine. On the other hand, maybe more than just groups of people should attack, maybe other people should be attacking? I don't think the Feminazi would be attacking if they don't know if the person is a male or female... anyway
Sorry, but my friend and I worked on that part. He likes to be violent, and I’m sorry if that has offended anyone. My friend can be a jerk.
That's okay! I have lots of violent stories, I understand

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