I accidentally came out to my dad!

+3 votes
asked May 12 in General Clubs by human
recategorized May 13

So today I was struggling with my schoolwork a bit and my dad was helping me with it. He says, “you got feedback from your HE teacher on your food waste assignment,” so he opens up Microsoft Teams on his phone to find the assignment page to show me my grade.

*info for those who do not use Microsoft Teams: there is a section where you put a mini-bio on your account if you swipe sideways. Only the top couple of lines are visible unless you tap on it.*

He says, “oh yeah I meant to ask you about this...” and swipes sideways to the description and tapped on it.

*info about what my bio says: I put some stuff about my school friends and my favourite TV show to fill the first couple of lines so if my dad accidentally swiped and found the bio he wouldn’t see what I wrote next. What I wrote next was “Oh yeah, I’m LGBT+ (rainbow flag emoji) so if you’re homophobic please go away.”*

So my dad taps on my bio and shows that part to me. Then he just said, “what’s going on?” (I was sweating and shaking so hard at this point) and I said, “I’m bisexual.” (I nearly died of anxiety and terror).

My dad says, “Huh. Just so you know, that’s fine, I don’t mind if you’re gay or straight or whatever,” (I continue sweating and shaking because I know what he’s going to say next...) “but I don’t think you should be sharing that with your classmates and teachers. You’re a bit young to be thinking about all this, you’ve just got your period a few months ago and your hormones are going nuts so just give yourself time to figure everything out.” (Yup, knew he would say that.) Then he says, “I have no problem with it, but you’re only eleven. You might push your friends away a bit if you tell them all about your sexuality now, you’ve not known them for that long, only since September.” (Still shaking and sweating.)

Then he asks, “how do you know?” (The one question I cannot answer well in my trembling sweaty state). I say, “I just like them.” And my dad says, “As friends? Because you know that means for s*x right?” Of course I know this, but I don’t want to seem weird so I say, “I never really thought about that. I just like them.” My dad says, “who’s ‘them’? What does ‘like’ mean?” (I’m dying inside). 

Then we had a long, awkward conversation about ‘liking’. (I just wanted to scream “I’m BI! What do you think it means?! Girls are pretty too! You should know, you’re a straight man! GRRR!”).

After the whole thing was over I was covered in cold, sticky sweat and still visibly shaking. I had to sit through another 45 minutes or so of my dad  awkwardly watching me work. Now that I think about it, he probably knew and was waiting for me to confirm his suspicions. He probably told my mum as well. Oh flarf...

Well to sum it up: my dad outed me, he’s fine with it but thinks I’m too young, my mum probably knows too and I nearly died of dehydration from all the sweating and trembling. Sorry it was so long, I just had to get it out of my system and tell some people.

What should I do? Can you help please?! (before 9am GMT on 13th May, if possible?) Thanks for being so supportive :)

4 Answers

+2 votes
answered May 12 by Lesbian Wolf Furry (10,370 points)
Best answer
Me the entire post- Oh honey, oh honey, oh honey.

Lol. But here is my conversation with my mom when I first tried to come out-

Me- Hey mom, can I talk to you about something *bad feeling*

Mom- Sure. What do you want to talk to me about?

Me- *dying inside but I work up the confidence to quietly say two words* i-im gay.*looks down at ground*

Mom- *surprised/confused face* Okay... do you even know what that means?

Me- *nods because I can't speak*

Mom- What makes you think you are gay?

Me- *silence*

Mom- What makes you think you are gay?

Me- *dying inside some more, barely makes out-* I like g-girls...

Mom- I think they are pretty too, i think girls are beautiful but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with them.

Me- *dying and screaming inside, silent outside*

Mom- We'll talk later.


Me- *perfectly fine, dread just went away*

Mom- So about you been gay...

Me- *starts dying again*

Mom- Give me a reason why you think you are gay.

Me- *dead and dying some more* I told you...

Mom- 'I like girls' isn't a reason.

Me- *internal dialogue, well what IS a reason then?* *silence*

Mom- You're going through puberty right now, just don't label yourself and get stuck in one label when you figure out you are somethin else later. I support you if you are, you know I am fine with LGBTQ, remember, Sofia? (Sofia is the name of one of my mom's exes who later figured out they were transgender and changed their name to Sofia.) Just don't tell anyone for now, and I won't tell your dad about this conversation.

Me- *silence, but nodding*


So kinda similar. That was last year sometime. My parents still don't know, i came out online and my whole school knows I am gay. But this was one of the most terrifying things in my life, so much so that I could not speak, my throat closed up and I think I started to hyperventilate at one point. At least you were able to speak. And at least your dad is supportive. Mine... NOPE.
commented May 13 by human
Thanks! I’m sorry about your parents. Now I feel a bit bad making a big deal out of my coming out/being outed when yours was much worse than mine. Hope everything goes ok :)
0 votes
answered May 13 by ❤KittyKat❤ (119,840 points)

Yay! Congrats! rainbow I love that your dad was very open to it (even if he was very awkward,  lol). 

commented May 13 by human
Thanks! I’m really relieved that he’s okay with it. I’m gradually recovering from the anxiety, embarrassment and awkwardness... It was definitely not how I planned coming out (literally jumping out of the closet wearing a rainbow T-shirt) XD
0 votes
answered May 13 by JD2005
OMG... Wow...
+1 vote
answered May 13 by KITTEN (623,970 points)
commented May 13 by JD2005
commented Jun 27 by Scared gurl
Omg that’s so totally awkward. I’m 11 and I think I’m bi idk, but I am not straight for sure. I am not coming out to my parents. My grandmother hates LGBTQ+ people and it’s horrible, but I can’t tell my parents because they’ll tell her and I don’t want her to like, disown me.
commented Jun 28 by KITTEN (623,970 points)
that sucks

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