This book is great! But, if you don't mind, maybe a could offer a bit of constructive criticism? Your grammar and spelling's fine, only a few small typos, but I've noticed that your writing lacks sensory language or detail. In the sentence, "Monica and her friends started bullying me." you could've added detail into the sentence to make it more vivid, and indulge the readers into your book more. Without it, the sentence just appears flat. I suggest using more sensory language and active voice, it'll help a lot. Another thing I want to point out is your character, Monica. I'm not saying she's a bad character but... there are quite a few holes in her. When I read about her she doesn't seem any more special then other bullies I can easily find in a normal book, she doesn't seem to add anything new to the plate of other villains. She seems kind of like a cookie cutter character, as if she only exists to cause drama. This isn't a very good way to have your character seen, unless they are extremely minor. She appears several times through out your book, so that's why I'm criticizing her. She isn't the main character, but she contains a certain amount of significance to the book. Villains and bullies are just as important as main characters in my opinion, without them the book would have no plot or conflict, making it boring and undesirable to read. Monica has no reasons or motives for bullying, at least not any revealed yet, making her seem solely there for the purpose of being a "mean girl". One last thing, is that your chapters seem rather short. I'd say an average sized chapter is around 1,000 to 1,200 words. You don't want to make them incredibly long, or you'll bore your readers. But you don't want to make the short either. I hope this helped! I hope I didn't come off as rude! Your doing a good job, keep writing!
