KidzTalk

Update-ish !TW!

+3 votes
57 views
asked Jan 11 in Mental Health by ~Purple~ (33,570 points)

Aloha! in_love

I'll give y'all a bit of an update on my mental health. And keep in mind. I will always listen if you need to talk about something as well!

Anyway, a bit of a Trigger Warning, I may talk about some sensitive stuff in here. 

I've been feeling pretty paranoid lately. You know at night when that pile of clothing looks like a human watching you? Well, imagine that feeling, 24/7. Luckily, I've only had one anxiety attack because of it, as I try to distract myself as soon as possible. I've also been having some trouble with friendships. It seems I only have one 'close friend at this point, and I've kind of drifted away from others. I continue to feel like I'm annoying 99.99999 percent of the time.  Also been having some su*cidal thoughts this week. SUPER fun. It's been a hard week. 

Hope I didn't completely vent on you. Don't want to cause trouble for anyone else. 

Thanks for reading!

~purple~

 



2 Answers

+1 vote
answered Jan 11 by PrincessJelly (54,010 points)
 
Best answer

Aw, bby, you can vent on us any time, we will always be here. I also wanted to apologize for not texting you, I've been busy. But I promise you that I'll text you right after I write this. Please talk to me if you ever feel suicidal, I'm always here, and willing to listen. I know how it feels. But trust me, it will either get better, or it won't. It all depends on your motivation to get better. And never be afraid to ask for help, we all need it at some point in life. Just remember, suicide isn't the way out. It's not worth it, ok? You deserve your life, don't give up now, when you've come so far. I love you and always will. Ok? I. LOVE. YOU. in_love

-Lot's of love, Jelly

0 votes
answered Jan 13 by l0st s0uth (11,400 points)
When I was 12, I used to be paranoid to the extreme. I had one panic attack over it. I had this major paranoia of the extreme of this Earth; like what was beyond our rounded, small Earth. What led ahead for the human species. What was more than what we saw. I have an extremely overthinking mind. I put myself in a million positions before one. Now, I still deal with paranoia and overthinking. I've always wondered what life would be if I had a calm, settled mind. I have that a lot when I'm with the Lord though. In fact, the night I had my panic attack, I was alone in my room, pacing and crying and muttering, "Tell me, if you hear this, what is out there." Now for all my life I believed in Buddhism. Jesus wasn't in my mind AT ALL. But after my panic attack I went to sleep, and the next morning the world was light and the sun was bright. And I could hear the birds singing and the wind tuning. The sun's fresh white light projecting onto my bed. How the dust particles danced in it. That little detail of how the morning breath sounded will forever be implanted in my mind. And that morning, as I awoke, I became a Christian. I have no idea what came across me, I cannot remember how I was so far to so close. That's one of the miracles our Father will keep. I am in debt, because now, I am at total peace. I haven't felt mentally ill in such a long time. All my family as mental illness, I was bound to have it, but despite having it, I overcame it. I, not me, no, not me at all.

I am not interested in knowing my mental illness, nor am I treating it with help from people that don't care about me, or worse, pills. The best you can do with mental illness is settle your mind and spirit. Find your conviction first. Trust me when I tell you that obsession with your mental illness binds you to it more. Free yourself from it. It is possible.
commented Jan 13 by PrincessJelly (54,010 points)
I'm sorry, but this is just angering. I take anxiety meds. Because I had panic attacks ever night. Every freaking night. Once there was a thunderstorm, and I had one. I was shaking and crying. I couldn't move. I couldn't breath. It was like my lungs were failing. It lasted at least 30 mins. Once I had intrusive thoughts abt killing myself. I tried. Didn't work. I was brought to the hospital. They sent me home. Several weeks later I tried again. Got sent to a hosital 6 hours away. Stayed there for a week. Got sent home. I'm better now. I don't think ppl realize that god isn't gonna solve everbodies problems. When sombody posts something like this, stop *bleeping* answering and talking abt god. That's not gonna help ppl. Plus the fact the purple is not religious. We don't have an obssesion with our mental ilness. We just try our best to make it better. Sometimes we have to use pills. Sometimes mental illness controls our lives. Makes us see things that aren't there. Gets us sent to hospitals. Makes us hurt ourselves. All bc our brains are *bleeped* up. That's not our fault. If you actually have a disorder, you can't just let go of it. I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, GAD, and focusing problems. Rn we're working on diagnosing my ADHD. They think it's just anxiety. Do you even realize how hard it is for us? I'll get panic attacks bc of stupid attachment issues. You can't free yourself from mental ilness. If we could, why haven't we already done it?? You can get better, but not completely freed. Purple, please don't listen to these ppl. And you leave her alone, my god. Stop it. I know you're trying to help. But get this in your head. GOD DOES NOT SOLVE EVERYTHING. STOP ANSWERING PPLS MENTAL ILLNESS POSTS TALKING ABT GOD. Just shutup already geez.

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