chapter one

+8 votes
asked Nov 5, 2019 in Novel Writing Club by Jabber (24,610 points)

My feet are sinking in the warm sand, I look up at the sky, the third sun is about to set, we have to find shelter fast.

I look down at my brother, his small hand, hot and sweaty, his long red hair flowing in the light wind, and his black eyes looking out at the sunset, the last sun was so bright that it was reflecting off of his eyes making his dark skin glow.

He reminded me of our father, strong, funny, and always looking for adventure. 


I should find a place for the night before the last sun sets I think. since were in the middle of the desert there are no homes around so I find a ledge hanging over a small clearing.

I take out some blankets I found and lay them on the floor, they are covered in sand and it tinges my legs as I sit down, but it's better then nothing.

I pat a spot next to me and motion for my brother Finnyies to sit down.

“Will we be like this forever?”He asks, it’s the fist time I here him speak since the incident. I sigh. “I don’t know Finn, but there still might be hope in the world.” I say thinking about what happened last night, I block that memory out of my mind, think about Finnyies not mother.

I hear my stomache rumble, good thing I found a Shelorian on our way here, I quickly pull it out of my bag the smell of raw meat makes me gag, I look over at Finnyies and see that he is drawing a stick figure family in the sand and then covering the mother  with sand leaving only the little brother and sister. I feel a tear roll down my cheek and turn away, don’t remind yourself of them, not now not ever, just cook the Shelorian and forget it all. 

I first rip off the sell and then the bones good squirts on my already bloody shirt, I feel like I’m going to vomit.

Finnyies sniffs and then gags,”What is that smell?” As brother and sister we both hated the smell of raw meat. “Shelorian” I answer quickly plugging my nose.

Finnyies makes a vomiting motion falling on the floor and pretending to die. Usually I would have laughed at this, but it reminded me too much of the past. Come on Azara it wont hurt to think about it, after all you are the older sister, don't be weak.

I inhaled blocking out the voice inside my head. Finnyies’s eyes widened realizing what he had just done, and broke down in tears. I put my arm around him and cried, I cried for mother and father, I cried for Finnyies and I cried for myself I dropped the Shellorian in the sand and I sang. I sang for Finnyies, I sang for my dead mother, I sang for myself, but most of all I sang to the horrid world we live

1 Answer

+1 vote
answered Nov 5, 2019 by toad aka star (346,600 points)
Great job! I suggest to name it something feeling related.
commented Nov 5, 2019 by Luke awesome
I thought it was good
commented Nov 6, 2019 by Jabber (24,610 points)
thanks guys!
commented Nov 6, 2019 by Jabber (24,610 points)
I will be posting chapter two probably next week

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