KidzTalk

Normal Chapter 5

+6 votes
94 views
asked Apr 11, 2016 in Fiction by ❤☮LouTheLuver☮❤ (160,480 points)

When Katie dissapered from the main entrance I was so relieved. I couldn't stand another single minute with hearing Miss Blabbermouth blabbering. "Hello, Miss Katie," I said it with my sweet-and-real voice. "How are you doing today?." Miss Katie looked up like she was looking at an alien. "Lily, you starled me! It's like you just came out from behind the bookshelf!" She replied. "Wait, were you spying on me and Katie?" I bit my lip, trying not to look suspisious. "Oh, I came out from the back entrance. Were you having a conversation with Katie? I didn't know!" I fibbed with my not-so-suspisious voice."Okay. Well what can I do for you today ma'am?" Miss Katie said with her manlike voice. I couldn't help but giggle. Sometimes Miss Katie is so funny. " Well, I came here because my brother was having a 'tornado tantrum.' The library is much more peaceful." I said, quoting the words from Out of My Mind. "You could see the new books the library got yesterday." Miss Katie said. "I would totally love to see them." I replied. "See you later!" "Bye" Miss Katie replied back. But as soon as I got into the children's section, I zoomed out the door, not even waiting for the security guard to critizize me.



1 Answer

0 votes
answered Apr 30, 2016 by ❤️GryffindorGal❤️ (116,860 points)
I love your writing, but that is not a quote from out of my mind
commented May 1, 2016 by ❤☮LouTheLuver☮❤ (160,480 points)
When Melody didn't get what she wanted, she screamed and kicked her legs. Melody couldn't speak. And Melody called those tantrums 'tornado tantrums.
commented May 2, 2016 by ❤️GryffindorGal❤️ (116,860 points)
Yes, I remember that part now. Now I suggest that you put that your quoting after the quote not after the direct sentence. Example:

" Well, I cam here because my brother was having a 'tornado tantrum'." I said, quoting Out of My Mind. "The library is much more peaceful".

Keep on writing!
commented May 22, 2016 by ❤☮LouTheLuver☮❤ (160,480 points)
Thanks for the writing advice!

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